Relationships are like deep waters; they’re hard to navigate. Most of the time we aren’t even aware that it’s time to walk away from a relationship until it’s too late. And sometimes we know we should move on and yet linger on anyway, hoping that things will miraculously get better. More often than not, people also get used to unhappiness or a mundane relationship that they forget that there could be something better. It’s always good to have clear signs that you’re on the right track and since I’m no relationship expert, you could use this article to help you pinpoint which aspects of your relationship need improving rather than me suggesting you should break up or stay with the person you’re with.
My rule of thumb when it comes to relationships is that too much of anything will kill you or at least kill the relationship. So if I suggest that sitting in silence too many times is unhealthy, it goes without saying that constantly talking is also unhealthy and so on.
1- You don’t feel like yourself with them
The most important relationship of your life is the one you have with yourself. So, embracing who you are and growing into your personality is important. If your partner doesn’t celebrate you for who you are then you will eventually start to lose your self-identity. With the right person, you will feel like you are growing into who you should be and will allow them to do the same.
2- You can’t disagree respectfully
Sometimes you’re right and sometimes you’re wrong. That’s just the way it is. The right relationship isn’t about proving that you’re right and they’re wrong or exerting too much effort to change the other person’s mind at all costs. The right relationship is when you can agree to disagree and still not think any less of each other.
3- You don’t feel like you’re a team
Imagine being deserted on an island with your partner or a zombie apocalypse, if you can’t visualize how you two would come together to make the best out of a worst-case scenario situation, then you need to rethink your relationship. The right relationship is when you two work together, divide the responsibilities, merge your strengths and empower each other’s weaknesses.
4- They don’t help you grow
No healthy relationship can remain stagnant as in stays the same where both parties don’t change a bit overtime. It happens sometimes that one partner would outgrow the other by a large margin, but no healthy relationship can ever remain in a perpetual state of being. The right relationship should enable you to take the course of life that you deserve and want.
5- If you’re constantly figuring out things about them by coincidence
In the right relationship, you feel the need to share news and stories with your partner. So, if you find yourself learning of monumental facts about your partner that would have remained a secret if you hadn’t stumbled unto them by accident, then you need to figure out what’s hindering your communication. If you also find yourself unenthusiastic about sharing happy news and they aren’t the person you want to comfort you when you have bad news, then something is definitely off.
6- You have a constant niggling feeling in your gut that tells you this relationship is temporary
Constantly questioning whether you’re in the right relationship or not is not a giveaway that you should walk away. There are many factors that might lead someone to constantly wonder if this person is right for them or not, such as overthinking, anxiety, fear of commitment or fear of missing out. However, too much of it is not a good sign.
7- You can’t have difficult conversations
Every hard situation that you have gone through with your partner is easier than the next hard situation. Therefore, if you often find yourself shrugging off important conversations or procrastinating confrontations, then that’s a red flag right there. In the right relationship, you can talk to your partner about whatever you’d like without fear.
8- You are usually thinking of something else when you’re with them
Obviously, you can’t think of a person 24/7 but if your mind is usually somewhere else when you’re with your partner, it means you are unable to stay in the moment with this person. You don’t enjoy your time together and activities with them will eventually turn into a chore.
9- You feel like the relationship is forced rather than comes naturally
Even in the worst relationships, you will still have beautiful and memorable days. But there’s no way to force a relationship to work. If the struggle of making it work becomes too much to handle then it’s probably not worth it, especially if you feel like everything you do, you do out of obligation.
10- You’re bored a lot
Blame movies for giving you a jaded expectation of love and what it should look like. This is why romance novels are always better. There is no way in hell that everyday of your relationship will be like a fairytale. Life will soon do what it always does and makes you and your partner fall into patterns and habits that aren’t so exciting. If you’re flat out bored and are always struggling to keep the conversation going, then this is more than just the typical “relationships ups and downs”.
At the end of the day, only you know whether this relationship has a future or not. Listen to your gut instinct and if your gut says no, then no and if it says yes, then yes. But what if it says maybe? Well, that’s another article.