When you get engaged to someone, it’s safe to assume that you’ve reached a level of connection that led to a certain confidence in the said person. Even though the engagement period is considered to be like a test run for marriage, still, it’s a deeper level of connection. That’s why it sucks that you reached this depth with someone and end up realizing that you never really knew them properly—or they knew you altogether.
It’s normal to feel shaken to the core if this connection is severed regardless of the reasons. And the world starts to look a bit different for you, caught in a ‘before’ and ‘after’ outlook on life with aspects as follows:
How Well Can I know Someone?
The focal point here is how well can you really know someone? With people, it’s usually leaps of faith, and you can be with someone you’re adamant is your soulmate and then comes the sad ending.
There is no definitive answer to how well you know someone. The aftermath can render you with severe commitment issues. That’s why it’s very important to have some time to buffer and understand yourself better so that you can understand how you perceive people.
Only then you have a chance to see things clearer and understand what you can manage in a relationship.
How Can I Be Better for the Next Time?
A while after the inevitable heartbreak, it’s beneficial for your mind and soul to take a look back at things and see where and when things messed up. Be fair, be objective and be better the next time.
It’s okay to acknowledge what went wrong from your end. The quest of being better is never-ending.
Can It Be Fixed?
When you look back at things, you will most likely be able to pinpoint the situation or the issue that catalyzed the end.
It’s possible that the situation leading to the ending of the relationship was a misunderstanding or something you overreacted to. Only you can assess whether it’s salvageable or not.
If the separation was friendly and mutual, you can try to approach your ex and see if it’s possible to reconcile. If not—which is most likely, you have to accept the facts as it is; you can’t change the past. And it’s okay; you gained a deeper understanding of yourself and how you can function in a relationship.
Not everything can be fixed and neither it’s your duty to fix it.
Can I Love Myself Again?
While being engaged, you connect to your loved one on a much deeper level as your topics become more serious. Your whole outlook on life changes drastically. You get used to sharing everything, from daily activities to decisions, with your significant other.
Take the time to recuperate and try to avoid any rebounds as it will only hollow you more. Work on regaining your independence once again and remember—regardless of whose fault it was and how things went—that there was life before them and most definitely there will be life after them.
And most importantly, cherish the experience and let it help you grow.