It’s that time of the month, and it’s never been worse. Or has it? You’re the Red Woman again, and it’s awful. We weren’t told about any of these struggles during primary school’s sex ed, and kinda just discovered all the minefields along the way. Periods are the one time where we hate mother nature, and we’re rightfully allowed to.
1- Now you see me, now you don’t
There’s always a day or two before the waterfall starts where your body is really confused. Your uterus feels heavy, you can tell your period’s about to rain blood on you, literally, but it’s not there yet. The anticipation is bad, and the cramps are worst.
2- CRAMPS!
Those two days in the beginning are good, especially if your period isn’t regular or predictable. You can take Panadol before the cramps start if you know your period’s coming a day or two from now, this way, you won’t even feel the pain. Doctors recommend you take a Panadol every 6 hours a day or two before it starts. If you don’t want to take meds, cinnamon, mint and green tea are awesome pain soothers too.
3- Working with the devil
Being at work while you’re on your period is hell, and makes you question if it’s even worth it. Heating pads are an awesome way to soothe the little marching men stabbing at your uterus. All you’ll need is a heating pad, water and access to a microwave.
4- Going on vaca with the devil
Especially if you’re going to the beach or a resort, you’re going to have to work your way around it. Swimming is a no-go, and most physical activities become a burden. No one told me having fun would be such a hassle! But hey, remember that your period doesn’t flow when you’re in water, so don’t let that stop you from swimming.
5- Unplanned visitor
Sometimes, your period just shows up. It’s not regular; it’s just here like: SURPRISE! And it’s just like Tant Hosniya, the annoying neighbour; not invited, and usually overstaying her welcome.
6- Leakage (forget your favourite panties…)
Especially when you didn’t expect your period, leaking is just a normal monthly thing. Your panties are stained, your sheets are stained, your whole life is stained. That’s why “period panties” is a real thing. 
7- Don’t sneeze, laugh, or get out of bed, at all!
You see, they don’t tell you this, but as soon as you sneeze or cough, it’ll be like Niagra Falls down there. It’s just as bad when you get up after a restless night’s sleep.
8- Pad positioning is like an engineering project
We’re grateful for the production of pads, but positioning them is serious work. You need to put it exactly where it needs to be, and the wings need to be perfectly placed, because you can’t afford a margin of error. All girls are engineers, really.
9- Your digestive system testing your tolerance
For some reason, your uterus isn’t satisfied with shedding, torturing you with pain and flowing blood like crazy. As if that’s not enough, your colon has to also get involved. Number 2’s are usually HEAVY, and pretty painful too. But you’ll feel 10 pounds lighter after.
10- Synced with all your friends
If you have a girls’ group, chances are you’re all synced up together like this.
11 – Has it ended? Nope back again.
Spotting is a nightmare in its own rite. The 5 days are over, and you’re finally living life normally and not wearing a pad, when BAM it hits you again. 
