Most of 2016 had us feeling like we were being pranked. But fein el camera el khafeya? Anyone? The variety and variations of weird sh** that went down this year are just too mind-boggling. Let’s recap:
1- Pineapple Video
How sex works for dummies.
2- Donald Trump Winning Presidency
The picture speaks for itself.
3- Etisalat’s Sexist Idea of a Joke
And issuing an apology afterwards declaring that the tweet wasn’t intended to offend anyone doesn’t make it okay.
4- The Fact that Deodorant Prices Increased by 45%
But as much as we’ll try to pretend this never happened, the smell of the aftermath will be too hard to ignore.
Welcome to our future:
5- Toblerone Wasa3o el Masafa Maben el Triangles
This means less chocolate for us. We can’t cave in to our sugar cravings anymore.
6- Brangelina’s Split
This was the straw that broke the camel’s back to what was already a pretty depressing year.
7- Apple Removing the Headphone Jack Port and Convincing People it’s IMPROVEMENT
Apple successfully sold the public on its decision to remove the headphone jack port from the iPhone 7 by inadequately justifying that their reason for doing so is “courage”; whatever that means. Just like they convinced us to buy laptops with no CD-ROMS because, who needs those? Well done, Apple. Well done.
8- A Beheira Doctor Taking a Selfie During Surgery
Priorities, am I right?
9- Ta3weem El Geneh
Thus, we sink.
10- EgyptAir Domestic Flight from Alexandria to Cairo Getting Hijacked and Landing in Cyprus
Egyptian romance at its finest. The man hijacked a f***ing plane to meet his ex-wife.
11- The absurdity that was Black..sorry…WHITE Friday
Aside from the fact that it was all just a scam and they were fooling people into thinking they’re saving money, we can’t call it Black Friday because it’s ‘haram’?!
12- The Uber/Careem and Taxis feud
If you want more work, do more work. For instance, matetanekosh w te2olo la2a when somebody tells you to drive them somewhere.
13- Whataboutz first Oscar for you
This is why aliens haven’t made contact with us yet; we suck.
14- THIS
This is inhumane and just makes me lose faith in humanity.
15- Ruining Brian Adam’s authentic guitar
We’re savages.
16- Asking people on the street if they plan on going to funk and pop
Faty el masryeen is unparalleled!
17- Grizzly shutting down
Just NO! We will literally pretend that this never happened. We’ll go to club 33 and wait until Grizzly magically reappears before our eyes.
All in all, years like 2016 makes you glad that time is a one-way street. Life, what else have you got?
