By: Dahab ElKady
Parents always wonder how their kids will react to the news of divorce. Every child, whatever stage of life they are at, will react absolutely different to such news. There may be a scale of how kids react, and if 1 is too mature then 10 is too emotional. Here is a brief of what to expect from your kid if you ever go through such a rough time in your life!
1. The Care-Free Kid:
The one who would go play a Fifa video game while their parents are fighting, who would never try to interfere in any of their discussions and always back down from any serious arguments. The one who would shut the bedroom door, put the headphones on and drive themselves out of all the responsibilities or all the fights he could have a word in; they will only do anything to avoid listening to any of the bickering outside. They’ve maybe tried once to have a role in a discussion or clarify an opinion around an issue, but since they’ve never done it twice, then they obviously failed in their first attempt. These are usually not kids anymore, maybe teenagers who are somehow building their own new life; one that’s free of any home troubles. Accordingly, when a divorce takes place, they are the ones who would give no answer when asked “Will you be staying with your mother or your father?” They are the ones who would probably have already set aside their role out of all this and started to believe they may survive without their parents. But the thing is they will notice by time that it’s impossible to live on your own since you’re still too young. They will miss being excited about a family gathering or a morning breakfast when all members of the family are up. They will realize their mothers’ or fathers’ absence at home when they no longer find the perfume they usually spray on every morning; they will always find a way to unintentionally and unwillingly miss them.
2. The Hard to Accept:
The one who sees this breakup as the end of the world. That this is it. Our life is over. The ones who go shut their bedroom doors and do nothing but cry. They’re usually are the ones who hardly deal with change, that change could strike fear into their lives and “We’re moving into a new place” would terrify them gravely. Moreover, if the breakup came as a shock, this would definitely break them apart. They would never see the bright side of it whatsoever, and the news would be so hard for them to handle. Changing houses, the absence of the mother/father, maybe the change in schools are all factors that would strongly affect them.
3. The One Who is OK with it All:
This type is a rare one. They are the ones who actually believe this is better for everyone, the ones who keep in touch with both parents. To be honest, the consequences that occur after the break and the actions the parents take are what mainly dictate the direction this family will take. A kid who is OK with it all will see how his father/mother has changed to be a better person, would analyze the sacrifices they both did throughout the whole marriage to avoid any distortion. Some kids get to this point of acquiring all facts when they are mature enough to realize it was worth it; this usually happen when they picture their lives with “What if?” They ask themselves; “What if all this never happened and I never moved to this neighborhood where I met my lifetime best friend? Or what if all this never happened and one of my parents lived miserable all their lives?” Too many questions would pop to their minds and they believe that actually this was the best decision.
Divorce news are always difficult to handle for children. Most importantly, parents should never assume that the absence of the initial upset means their kids are doing fine. They may just be good at hiding their feelings. May the coming generations never have to face any of these struggles.