By Sama El Feky

How many of you have traveled abroad and came back to be completely shocked by what they found in Egypt? Below are 6 signs you’ve been away from Egypt for too long. Just be cautious and try to conceal your awe on the street; you might even come across as a tourist.

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1. When you can barely recognize the way Egyptians speak because of all the new wacky slang language you simply don’t understand.

From Fakes to 2allak to bet7awar to 7at2fshy to teet to many more, it’s clearly a struggle to digest all the new terminology Egyptians improvise all the time, especially the curses. Oh, the curses. You don’t even need to be away from Egypt for long because this crap is generated ridiculously fast. Even those who have lived their entire lives in Egypt suffer as they attempt to comprehend half of the new and trendy swear words.

2. When you get confused with all the recently constructed bridges.

It’s hilarious how these new bridges seem like a relief to local commuters who know Egypt inside out and a curse to you people who just returned to Egypt and got all mixed up with the new construction everywhere. Bridges are being built at a phenominally fast speed and it can get a bit distracting. Don’t feel distressed; you’ll come around!

3. When you get surprised by the insane amount of cafes, restaurants, malls and nightclubs that popped up in new districts which were basically non-existent just a short time ago.

Down Town, Concord Plaza, Cairo Festival mall, Arabian mall, The District, The Garden, Amici Bar, Mall of Arabia, Emerald Empire and many other places. 

It’s crazy how so many places just keep popping up everywhere in a blink of an eye. You have a gazillion places to choose from that you end up getting so puzzled about where to go. You now have no reason to babble rubbish about the nightlife in Egypt!

4. When you forget that walking down the street is almost like “mission impossible” because you will often get harassed in a way or another, even though this has been the unfortunate case in Egypt for decades. 

Using either “ya 3asal” or “ya sokar” name calling, harassers sure have a way to show affection with words. Walking on the streets of Egypt has been that torturous since forever so don’t get your panties in a bunch.

You just have to be reminded of the way things really are on the streets of Egypt and that only takes one stroll.

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5. When you think you can’t show any skin so you arrive in long sleeves only to find most girls 3erynaeen now. Malt khales!

It has been witnessed, mind you: three teenage girls in mid afternoon walking down the sidewalk of Nozha street wearing itsy bitsy hot shorts. Girrrl!!

Nowadays, most Egyptians are fierce enough to take fashion risks; something the country certainly needs.

6. When you forget that you don’t have to personally fill your gas tank because someone else will do it for you. 

Although having someone fill up our tanks is kind of cool, Egyptians should totally think about handling their own cars’ banzeen. It would definitely be an interesting change! 

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No matter how many times you trash talk Egypt, you can’t deny that you get a sense of longing for the country when you are away. It will always be home.