Fighting, arguing is a healthy way to release the tension in a relationship every now and then. But one of its dilemmas is the post war, the moving past the fighting part. When the dust settles, when the awkward silence hangs in the air, when the two of you start to wait on one another to break the ice; that’s the real challenge relationships face. Here is how to make up after a fight no matter how bad it was.
Step 1: First off Cool off
If you kept blowing into a fire, it won’t burn out. You must walk away for the flames to die. Some people need some alone time in order to process their thoughts and their feelings. After enough cooling off time, this person will usually come back to you with a clearer head and a more open heart.
Step 2: A Peace Offering
Make this a rule between you and your partner. After you’re done fighting, you must raise the white flags and ask for a truce! Win yourself some points by asking for this truce in a creative way; a hand written card or a bouquet of flowers. Yep money can’t buy you happiness, but sometimes it can buy you a nice peace offering.
Step 3: Apologise Even If You’re Not Totally Wrong
This is your partner, there is no shame in apologizing even if you’re not wrong. The fight was ugly; you probable got angry and pressed on some of their buttons. Just say the magic words “I am sorry”. This will encourage your partner to do the same. If you didn’t ask them to, there is no making up if the apology is absent.
Step 4: Negotiate Like a Politician
Politicians are those smart ass people in nice suits who practically rule our life. They know there is no room for negotiation if you didn’t offer something in return. Discuss the fight in a productive way; pinpoint what’s bothering you and listen to what your partner has to say with an open heart.
Step 5: Make Them Laugh
Don’t make fun of the fight, especially if it’s a sensitive topic. Make fun of your behaviour, of stupid things that had been said. Just clear the way with easy humour, with some smiles and laughter.
Step 6: Make The Sweeping Gesture
This one is a must if you’re the one who messed things up in the first place. No one knows your partner better than you, and to clear the air from the argument energy, you must fill it with a positive one. Take them to their favourite dinning place, make a romantic dinner at home, book both of you in some fancy hotel with a nice view, do something that requires effort and planning.
At the end, you must both know deep down that no matter how strong the storm was, you will still survive it together.