For some reason, the new bride’s ultimate nightmare is her mother-in-law. As soon as your aunt knows it’s getting real with your boyfriend, the first thing she asks: Did you see your mother- in-law (shofty 7amatek wala lesa) or if you are newly married: how are you getting along with your mother-in-law (7amatek 3amla ma3aki eh?) as if “7amatek” is a monster waiting to eat you alive.
Well, yeah some mothers-in-law are true pain in the a**, but come on put yourself in her shoes. Turning the monster in her into a loving mom is pretty easy:
1. Love her.
Yes, you read it right! Love her like you love your mom, she will be your second mom after all.
2. Accept and understand her.
That’s why loving her came first. You will never be able to accept her without loving her. Accept that she will always believe no one can love her son like herself. Understand how she feels.
3. Make her see her son is happy.
After all that’s what she cares about the most. If she could truly see it in his eyes that he’s happy and read it from your actions that you truly care for him, she will be thankful that you are in his life. She might get jealous that someone else is making her son happier than she does, but she’ll get over herself every time she sees him smiling.
4. Don’t take him away from her.
There is a fine line between having boundaries and making her feel not welcome. Always make her feel at ease and go to her as much as you can. Don’t make her feel for a second that he is yours now and that you don’t need her in your lives.
5. Not all mother-in-laws are the same.
Not all mothers are the same just as not all monsters are the same, so don’t always listen to past experiences of mothers-in-law that alone can make you change your entire view of marriage. Keep in mind you only heard from one party not both.
6. Don’t treat her like she is a real monster.
If you decided that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, this means you love who he is as a person. So don’t forget that she is the reason behind the person he is now, the person you met, the one you fell in love with.
At the end of the day treat her like you would treat your mom, accept that she is a mom worried about her child, which will always be the case. Talk with her and ask for her opinion even if you won’t do with it, just make her feel still needed and very much appreciated.