Movies portray it as the most romantic love stories; ‘One Day’, ‘Love Rosie’, ‘What If’ and the list goes on and on. Best friends falling for each other plot lines belong to the top ticket selling movies. As for real life, the cold water gets tossed in your face when you figure that falling for your best friend is the most confusing, mind-numbing, uncomfortable thing that could happen to you.
Since you clicked on the title then you can probably relate, so I hope this reading could help you get a good grasp of what’s going on in your mind, and yes, in your heart. Let’s start with the first stage, when the possibility hits you:
Stage #1 Asking Yourself ‘What If?’
It usually starts when someone tells the both of you “You guys look so cute together” or “Why don’t you guys just start dating already?” Or maybe when you go anywhere like dates… the possibility starts to circle around in your head, and for the first time ever you see your best friend in a whole different light. That’s when the seed is planted.
Stage #2 When You Can’t Find What You Both Have Anywhere Else
Endless hours of talking, sharing secrets, opening up, exposing deep scars and insecurities…Without even noticing, you will find yourself looking for someone whom you can share these things with too, just like you do with your BF. But everyone comes short. It starts to frustrate you to the point that you step a bit away from your BF in order to have a clear head. And as you do just that, you miss them like hell.
Stage #3 The Shocking Realisation
It’s like having a bucket of ice thrown over your head. It will chill you to the bone and brain freeze you! You try to shake the idea off, telling yourself “it can’t be”, but your war has been long lost, my friend. The seed has nudged a little further up from the ground, and already rooted into you. It’s not just infatuation; it’s something more.
Stage #4 Putting Meaning Into Everything
The nightmare of overthinking will rot your mind; it will lead you to wonder if your best friend feels the same way about you or is going through the same thing you’re going through. You will read between the lines, give meaning to everything they do or say.
Stage #5 Leading A Double Life
You have crossed the line from the best friends’ land, but yet you haven’t stepped into the lovers’ land. You got stuck in the grey zone in between. Which would cause you to lead a double life. You will keep on pretending to your best friends that everything is still the same though your feelings have certainly taken a wild turn.
Stage #6 Hating To Hear About Their Significant Other
When your best friend is already involved with someone, this will add insult to injury. So now you don’t have to just hide your feelings toward them, but you also have to develop acting skills. Swallow your pain, jealousy, anger. And give a sober face when they go on and on about their significant other.
Stage #7 The Moment of Truth
Eventually you will get tired. You can’t stop yourself from falling for your BF. And the fear of losing them is eating you from the inside. So the final stage is when that moment comes, when you decide to speak, or forever hold your peace.
Whatever your decision is, you must not beat yourself up for your feelings. It’s not something you can control. Yep, if you decided to confess to your BF, it might cost you a lot, I won’t lie. But still nothing ventured, nothing gained.