We all need a shoulder to lean on from time to time, and when that shoulder is our significant other’s, that’s way more enjoyable. But everything has a red flag. There are signs that your partner’s shoulder might be aching and needs a break from carrying you, so keep an eye for the following signs and learn to carry yourself on your own, because yes, it is your job.

1. “My relationship is my only source of happiness.”

Big boo for this one. A relationship should be a source of happiness for you, no question about it, maybe even your favorite source. But the only source? No relationship should carry this load.

2. “I don’t want to do ANYTHING without my partner.”

It is normal to want to share many moments with the person you love, that’s why they are called partners, but sharing every single thing, and never going to things solo that screams dependency.

3. “He is not answering my calls! Doesn’t he love me anymore?”

If you jump to the conclusions that your partner will break up with you each time he or she doesnt pick up the phone, and fear starts to eat you inside out, honey, it is time to cut it out.

4. “I won’t call her for two days, for her to think that I am not available all the time.”

Seriously? Don’t you think it’s way easier to go and really have a life than to pretend to have one. And FYI that still screams dependency.

5. “I am not coming if you didn’t invite my boyfriend/girlfriend.”

If you expect from your friends to accept that your partner should always tag along in the activities you do together, or threat that you won’t show up otherwise, I bet this attitude should give you a clue about the level of your dependency.

6. “Let me check with bae first.”

Even when it is simply going out to breakfast with your cousin or a girls’ night in with your friends, and you don’t even have plans with your partner, still bae always comes first, I will spell it for you D E P E N D E N T.

7. “Leave me alone, I had a fight yesterday with my boyfriend.”

If you had a fight with your partner, you shouldn’t be all dandy about it, but you shouldn’t also be in the need to visit the ER. People fight, that’s what they do, so toughen up.