sayes

Last week I decided to calculate the amount of money that I pay to the ‘Sayes’ on a monthly basis, and it was a shockingly huge amount. That is why I was determined not to give money to the next ‘Sayes’ I see, and here was the problem. I couldn’t do it without getting into trouble.

I had to come up with different ways to ditch the ‘Sayes’ without actually paying, and I know that you’ll all love me forever for the following list. 

#1: ‘Egry Ya Magdy’

You go to your car feeling the adrenaline, you have butterflies in your stomach (dragons in my case) and you start driving as fast as you can. This is you my friend stealing your own car; it feels crazy!

#2: I Don’t Have Enough Change ‘Wanahi’

It is considered a white lie if you tell me. Why would you give the guy any change for doing exactly nothing? The guy waits until you hit the pavement and then screams “Stop” as if you read minds. This lie always works, only if you never see the guy again.

#3: Try to Sneak Your Car Out

This is you stealing your car again but in a totally different way. Pick the right time to perform this trick, which is when he is trying to help another car out. He is busy, the road is clear and all you  have to do is just press on “Drive” and go as fast as you can. He might come running after you but it’s okay, he won’t catch you!

#4: Ignore Him

This one is rude, but it works like magic. Close all your windows, play your music as loud as you can and just keep looking at your side mirrors or even in front of you. Don’t even look at him. You will definitely piss him off, but darling, you won’t pay him a penny.

#5: Act as If You’re an Activist

This one is always my favorite. Start off by asking about your right as a citizen to park anywhere you want. Act cool and in control, and you will ALWAYS get away with it.

#6: Threaten To Call The Cops

This one scares them to death, because they do believe that you’ll do it if you sound convincing enough. They know that what they’re doing is illegal, which even scares them a bit more.

#7: Act as if You’re Over The Phone With Someone

I never really tried this before, but all of my friends do it and apparently it works. You just act super busy as if you’re the Prime Minister and just drive away with your car. He would probably let you go if you mastered your act.

On a more serious note, we need to stop accepting this abuse and stop being passive about it. Say NO to every ‘Sayes’ you see until they stop exploiting everyone around.