We all wait desperately for summer so we can get on the beach and enjoy those waves, right? But what if hitting the beach involves your extended family, would it still be that much fun? In this article, we take you through ‘the NO-GO’ notion of skipping the family beach day; all the way from your parents bringing literally a whole living room to seat themselves to their continuous quarrels regarding who pays for el Freska. Before we start, make sure you’re reading this away from the family!
1.You’re the chauffeur/Teita’s personal assistant
If you think you’re on the beach to enjoy some family time, you’re mistaken. You will be going back and forth between your house and the beach to pick up the sunscreen that your mum forgot, not to mention taking teita to the bathroom on the other side of the beach or picking up tant Salwa from the gate because she’s lost.
2.Mama will be calling your name really loud for multiple reasons
Mama will be calling your name the loudest she can afford to make sure you’re not hungry, or to warn you not to swim too far into the open water. Maybe you should wear floaters next time.
3.Uncle Same7 will be cracking those lousy s** jokes.
Maybe there is something about the beach that makes Uncle Same7 wants to give out lame jokes in front of everyone. No one would laugh, but that doesn’t seem to stop him.
4.Your young relatives will bury you in the sand (non optional)
Children abroad build huge sandcastles on the beach. Here in Egypt, we dig deep holes so people can fit inside them and look happy while being buried in hot sticky sand.
5.Your parents will ask you who everyone is and criticize their swimwear
Never let your friends join your family, NEVER! Your mum will go on and on about how exposing your friend’s bikini is and how stinky Mohamed’s breath is. It will turn into an awkward conversation that would probably end up by you having to agree to your mum’s opinion.
6.Your family will bring chips/chocolate, literally shantet ra7lat to the beach
Your family is basically hitting the beach for a few hours, but they will bring a supply of snacks sufficient to last a whole month.Your mama’s bag will have it all from chips to small gebna romi sandwiches. Who doesn’t like tasbeera by the waves?
7.Your father will take fashion to a new level with his Hawaiian printed shirts
Starting from your mama’s chapeau to your father’s Hawaiian shirts, they’ll be boasting their most creative outfits leaving you wondering how they even define fashion.
8.They have to leave the beach at around 3 because it’s lunchtime!
Your idea of a day on the beach is probably a stay from midday till sunset. Your parents are more concerned with the 3 pm seafood order that has to be eaten before it gets cold. A happy tummy always comes first!
Even if they come up with the worst jokes or give you the hardest tasks, they still make you laugh and give you that warm vibe wherever you go. Family defines who we are. On a side note, no one should be allowed to put on those Hawaiian print shirts anymore. Have a good day!