Isnโt life too short to be following some stupid rules? For years now, weโve been reading articles and books about what to do and what not to do to make things right. I donโt understand why we follow them and complicate things when life could be so much easier if we just do what we want to do or say what we want to say. Without having to over think anything. Here are some rules that I think we should break.
1- If you donโt feel an immediate sexual spark, forget it:
This may be an effect of too many romance movies; we all can easily fall under the spell of the idea of love- or lust-at-first-sight. Itโs easy to think that if you donโt feel the tingle at the outsetโor at the very least, the first kissโthereโs no way youโre going to make it over the long haul. But that sort of thinking might cause you to overlook the quiet-but-intriguing guy whose company you enjoy even though you donโt feel a spark just yet.
A better rule:
Sexual chemistry is important, but you may not feel it initially. It can develop after youโve known someone for a while. There has to at least be an ember! If youโre truly not feeling it, itโs better to let things go gently now rather than hang around waiting and hoping for a match to flare.
2-The guy should always pay:
This rule got its start back when nearly all men had more disposable income than women, who were probably dating while still living in their parentsโ home. These days, not only are you not a jobless youngster, but you might be more financially secure. Also, you may not want to be beholden to him either.
A better rule:
Forget the โalwaysโ or โneverโ rules about paying. Who pays will depend on your generation or who did the asking out, or just your impulse at the time the check comes. Try to be upfront when you go out: โThis oneโs on meโ always sounds good.
3-ย Never talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband on a date:
Thereโs a grain of good advice in this rule, which is that you donโt want to spend the whole date bad-mouthing an ex and coming across as bitter. But the idea that you should never bring up your past is outmoded. You want to be open and honest and not act as though your history is a taboo subject.
A better rule:
Think of talking about a past relationship as a way to communicate what you want out of a new relationship. Just save certain insightsโโsuch as how you learned that you prefer a man who loves his family, which your ex did notโโfor when youโre ready to take your relationship to the next level.
4- Should never ask a man out:
This is an old-fashioned rule that says he should be in charge and be the โhunter.โ The idea is that if a woman takes the initiative, the man wonโt feel, well, manly.
A better rule:
If youโve met a guy at a party and are having a great chat, thereโs no reason why you canโt say something like, โIโd love to keep this conversation going. Can we get together for coffee or a drink?โ To summon the courage, remember two things: One, a guy who might be scared off by your forwardness isnโt worth your time anyway; and two, men are as afraid of rejection as you are, a guy whoโs interested will be relieved that the burdenโs not on him.
