Written by: Refaat Sakr

 

My fellow men,

Your jeans, shirts, underwear and any other personal belonging is not really yours. It’s common property like public transportation or even better like international waters.

Don’t get mad when your sweatshirt is used as an extra cover or as a savior from the cold. Can you feel it, urging you to say “Damn, I was going to wear that tomorrow.” Well, guess what? Your pajamas too will be utilized upon need. Your stuff is more comfortable; get used to it.

When you come home and look for your favorite pj’s over and over but still don’t find them, ask your spouse. She will point to the trousers she’s wearing and say “Is that the one?” You will say “Yes, that’s the one.” Don’t share your thoughts or bring up all the comfy clothes you bought her to wear at home. Don’t seem frustrated; just go look for something else to wear. You may sigh, just sigh.

One thing, only one thing transfers its ownership according to the situation and the need of course. That thing my friend is your KIDS ..

The kids will be yours if they need new clothes or shoes. She can say “We need new clothes for your son“ or “new shoes for your daughter.” The kids will be hers during the happy times, but if something should go wrong, she’ll go “What did you do to my daughter?“ Avoid responding in such cases; brief answers are usually the best. Okay, nothing, fine, don’t worry.

We need to take your kids to the doctor; your kids are sick. You don’t spend enough time with your kids. And guess what my friend? When you do spend quality with YOUR kids, she will make sure you know very well that they are more hers than yours. All the instructions, guidelines and restrictions … all the shouting and do’s and don’ts.

You will be alright; don’t worry. Get used to it because there will come a moment when your son or daughter will turn around and say “I love you daddy” and look at your wife and say nothing. Only then, you will feel there is justice in this world! It’s totally worth it.

Wives tend to like to own stuff, including you. You got to give them that orgasmic feeling that they own you, your stuff and your kids.

You can mention it a million times; things won’t change. I believe there’s more to it than your clothes being more comfortable; or the urge to make you feel guilty when something bad happens to YOUR kids, or how good she raised HER kids …

My fellow man, it’s the mine and yours. If it’s called Adam’s apple, why is it known that Eve ate it? If it’s your clothes, why is it always a pleasure for her to share them whenever she feels like it? If it’s your credit card, why does she get to use it whenever she desires?

Remember, you can only sigh and smile ….

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