You never meant for things to head this direction. It was just a casual friendship, then yeah, maybe things got a little bit tangled, but so what? You never cheated or even intended to; it’s harmless affection that made you feel alive once again, that had woken up buzzes that were long asleep inside you. What can it hurt? Why can it even be considered wrong?

Let me tell you why my friend, because this is not an innocent friendship. You are being emotionally infidel to your marriage, which is nothing but another type of cheating.

Why is it considered cheating if there is no physical involvement?

Picture a balance: the right side stands for your marriage, the left side stands for your fling, and the two pieces of metal on both sides are your emotions giving. Adding weight to one side, meaning you’ve got to take from the other side, making it less heavier (Translation: You’re lured away) and before you know it, your marriage will weigh nothing.

 

Can it happen unintentionally or unconsciously?

Yes, actually it’s more prevalent to occur unwittingly; it’s like a slipper slope. It might have begun with a conversation over Facebook, or with a seemingly innocent friendship in the workplace. You started liking each other; you feel good when you’re together/talking….and then your foot gets in the door my friend.

 

What are the contributing factors that might lead to it?

Unlike what movies are so fond of displaying, it doesn’t take an evil nasty person to cheat. Anyone can fall into this trap due to a need to escape stressful situations, pressure and responsibility associated with family or a long distance relationship. It can be seen as an easy way out.

 

What are the signs you’ve raised the red flag?

Ultimately, we all have consciences that guide us. No matter how many times you tried to mute it, it would keep on nagging at the back of your head. So when it starts to scream, how about that for a sign? Yet here are some more signs if your conscience is on vacation:

-Making a point to find ways to spend time together, and that time becomes very important to you.

-You are doing things and saying things that you would never do or say in front of your spouse.

-You caught yourself thinking about this person around your spouse.

-You avoid mentioning anything about this person to anyone; he/she is like a secret to you.

If those signs ring any bells…You’re in trouble.

Is it a one-way road? Or can it be fixed?

It’s not a one-way road, but it only got two ends: either your marriage’s end or this relation’s. There is no middle ground. So as long as your marriage means something to you, and you want to keep it, back way off. Don’t respond to calls, texts or e-mails; if it takes quitting your job, do that. You have to disengage from this person as far and as fast as you manage.

The single good news in here is that you don’t have to confess to your spouse about these emotions. We can always control what we do, but sometimes we can’t control what we feel. Your emotions might have dragged you somewhere, but you didn’t follow all the way, you stopped and turned on your heels.

Just learn from your mistakes, and work on your marriage to avoid a similar bump in the road.