By: Passant Omar
Loneliness is a feeling of isolation that you encounter regardless of your surroundings. It’s when you feel trapped in your own self. To be honest, it’s quite a frustrating emotion. It’s like you built glass walls around you and you contact with people through them. Regardless of the many people you interact with on daily basis, you feel empty and alone. What has led you here, or how to get out of it is something to be questioned.
Different reasons lead people to this sentiment; what differs is the sensitivity and emotional reactions of people towards certain situations they come across in their lives. It could be the death of someone close, after a break up or a divorce, upon moving to a new place or even upon experiencing depression. Depression may result with long-term loneliness, which leads one to escape it through eating, drinking unwisely or even participating in unhealthy relationships.
As human nature applies, people usually expect things from each other in return for giving. When one gives attention and care to another, he/she usually expects to receive the same in return. It’s true that you give and expect out of love, but you should always maintain your expectations of others realistic. Learn to give without waiting for a return, and understand that not everyone will love you the way you want to be loved. People express love differently.
Another major issue is the longing for closeness. Each person will feel anguish when their need for companionship is not satisfied. If your relationship with others does not include the element of closeness, it tends to make you feel lonely. Having connections and bonds with plenty of people is a good thing, but having these relationships superficially is not. The number of people around you is not a scale to be used in measuring your number of friends; the closeness is what counts! When you have someone who checks up on you, calls you to hang out and is there for you through the ups and downs, this is what counts. Even if it means your circle going down to one person, keep it that way if this is where you don’t feel alone. However, you should always keep the floor open for different types of relationships with different people.
After experiencing disappointments in people, which is perfectly normal in relationships, you lean towards guarding yourself. It is okay to be guarded and protect yourself from unhealthy relationships, but to an extent. Being guarded sometimes makes you send people the wrong message of not being open to new bonds or relationships. It is necessary to be careful with your relationships, but make sure to engage with people more often and reach out for them, because there are so many nice people out there ready to be friends!
Social media has become a necessary part of everyone’s life. But you cannot be wanting to get out of your shell while sitting all day behind the screen. Social media makes you connect with people while not connecting with them. Meaning, liking people’s photos or sharing your own will hardly lead to a deep conversation that would make your bond stronger. Having a big number of friends on fb and none in real life is not really realistic to settle for. If you miss a friend, just pick up the phone and call them. Connecting with people usually makes you feel less lonely. Another thing is that social media is the real downer, because it’s mostly about perceptions and appearances. It’s harmful because people tend to show only their happy moments and you just sit there feeling down about yourself. When the truth is, you never really know what they have gone through.
Loneliness is wanting to interact while not being able to due to your negative thoughts and painful emotions of feeling unwanted or alone. Overcome this by sharing. Talk to your best friend about it, let it out on a piece of paper or even by an intense workout. Know that no matter how lonely you may feel, you are not alone.