Don’t go all innocent on us! We all get that must-fart feeling after a heavy sohour or even a plate of ‘tomeya’ 3al fetar, but the difference here is how you manage the fart or in other words ‘neda2 el tabee3a’. The sad thing is it usually hits you on important occasions like the first gathering in Ramadan, maybe even proposing to your girlfriend or applying for a job, so you usually have to do something to kind of hold it up and still keep a fair facial expression, and save us all the smell which can take the world down. Here is a list of the six scientifically proven legit strategies to hide a fart!
1.The all time classic “eh el ree7a dee?’’
You don’t want to be over dramatic so no one suspects a thing. Make sure you pick someone close to you and try to pin it on them!
2. Create diverging sounds, and fart right in the middle
Assuming you’re in the middle of a big group, you can suddenly start singing out loud. No one will even hear you, and then bom-slam fart it out! If someone takes notice of the sound, start adding a similar tone with your mouth to the singing!
3. Hold it till you find a close bathroom
We know you won’t be doing that, but it’s our duty to ask you to! We surely don’t know how many seconds you can hold that fart, but we hope it stays in as long as it can!
4. Grab two of your closest pals and stick to them side by side
We all have those pals who accept us for who we are, so make sure you have them on either side leaving no space for the fart smell to be released. And if someone suspects it, you’re not alone to fight back after all.
5. Divide the fart
We’re not sure this one scientifically works out for us as Egyptians. It is basically about dividing the fart into smaller shorter ones, so they don’t create that loud sound, more of kill’em with kindness.
6. Cover it up with a nice smell
If you happen to have one of those splashes or perfume bottles on you, make sure to fill the place with fragrance following the fart. We’re not sure though of the final result of combining the scent of perfume with your fart. If it gets worse, act dead!
We hope we’ve saved the human race from extinction by sharing those six strategies. There are certain things you should never do no matter what. You should never fart in an elevator and don’t have koshary for sohour then go to bed. If your fart is too strong to conceal, then be strong enough to stand up for it and defend it, it’s yours after all. Make sure you always give out a fart every once in a while, it’s healthy!
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