Before we delve into this intriguing topic, it is important to know that when life gets in the way, couples need to redirect their energy towards doing things that would bring back the spark once more. You know you’re one of those people when you go through the motions of life instead of living life. Have you ever wondered how those who have been married for 40 years do it? How people can unconditionally love each other no matter what? We tend to get used to the new norm and forget what once made this relationship so great. Here’s a little tip: Bring happiness back. In other words, spice up your marriage!

A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE

Write down a list of your fondest memories that have left an impact on your relationship. Those moments that lead up to your marriage; like that coffee shop where you had your first date, that special meal that your spouse used to like so much, that place where you played paddle tennis, when you used to walk hand in hand on the streets of Cairo. Remember when you were still girlfriend/boyfriend? Revive those falling-in-love feelings, but you also don’t want to forget that what you have now is even better. You will eventually be able to reach a new level of intimacy and gratefulness.

STAY POSITIVE

This is plain and simple. Don’t dwell on your everyday problems. Whether it’s work-related or friendship-related. Couples tend to over dramatize situations by always complaining about temporary issues. Just get it over with and don’t let it interfere with your current emotional atmosphere. Instead, talk about the exciting or funny things that happened in your day. Share your secrets and feelings. Let the positivity outweigh the negativity.

CREATE A TRAVEL BUCKET LIST!

And I don’t mean sell your belongings and cash out. It’s all about being spontaneous, like going to Alexandria for the day or spending the weekend in Fayoum. And if going on a cruise is on the tables, then great! Go for it. Allow yourself to be a tourist even if it’s in your own homeland. Have I gotten you excited yet?

Here are a few ideas you can consider with your spouse: Hiking in the White Canyon in Nuweiba, entering the Great Pyramid of Giza, visiting historical sites like the temple of Luxor, swimming with dolphins, scuba diving in the Red Sea, swim in waterfalls, go kayaking. Traveling will awaken something in you that has been lost, passion.

BE COMPASSIONATE

Simply saying how beautiful your partner is can do the trick, but it’s not enough. Remind your spouse why you admire them so much. Appreciate their effort by supporting them in what they do like easing the loads or participating in their passion. Genuine thoughtfulness makes the biggest impact. Ask your spouse for a responsibility you would like to take— handling the paperwork or helping with chores. Making them feel cherished is the key.

THE POWER OF TOUCH

Do you remember that thing you used to do in bed before going to sleep? Yes. Cuddling. This is a physical kind of affection that couples tend to overlook. Being intimate in general comes in all shapes and forms. The simplest things can bring back emotions of love and security. Back rubs and massages can also be super helpful especially after a long stressful day. Why not even go all the way and get some candles to create a soothing ambiance?

DO THINGS AT THE SAME TIME

Doing the same thing at the same time can only bring you closer, like having breakfast together, or going to bed at the same time. Read a book by the beach or go workout together. Find and share a hobby that both of you enjoy.

MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE A PRIORITY

Couples tend to use their limited free time to go out on a girls’ night out or a guys’ night out. Set aside a time to be alone with your partner and reconnect with them on a regular night in. Making your spouse your priority means saying no to trivial things.

BE ATTRACTIVE

Usually when people get married, they get too comfortable that they forget to take care of themselves. During the dating phase, both partners would do their best to look good and charm one another. Put the spark back in your relationship by staying fit and healthy. Taking care of yourself will only have a positive effect on your relationship.

WHEN YOU’RE MARRIED WITH KIDS

Kids usually gobble up all the energy you have and you forget that your children are your biggest blessings. Don’t allow the daily routines of your life to take you away from the quality time that you both should be spending with your kids. This will not only strengthen your relationship with your spouse, but it will also help you discover yourselves as parents and help you better see who you are as a person.

GIVE AND EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN

People don’t love the same way. Your job as a spouse is to accept and embrace whatever kind of love you get. Stop putting rules in your relationship and have unrealistic fairy tale expectancy. As you grow older, you will realize that love is unrestricted. Do not compare your love—there’s nothing more beautiful than the satisfaction of giving.

Marriage is all about teamwork. Stop fighting against each other and start fighting for each other. The chase is never over.