Imagine a game of musical chairs; the music stops, all the seats are taken, and there is only you and some other person left unseated. The other person comes closer, and you start to chat until the others finish the game. Here is a question, when everyone was on their feet, were you this person’s first choice? Let me answer that, we will never know. That’s metaphorically the situation when someone is only into you because they are lonely and have no one else around them.
Let’s not keep you in the dark for too long and discuss how you can tell love from loneliness:
He/She has Zero Activities Going On In Their Life
We are not shaming anyone for the way they run their life; we are only stating facts here. Loneliness is the result of boredom. When life is repetitive and mundane, what better solution than to find someone who can add a more dynamic layer to it. You’re basically just there to combat their loneliness, and that’s quite unfair to you. It’s nice to be in these people’s lives, but as their friends, not necessarily their lovers!
If Better Plans Come Up… Goodbye Chérie
When you’re a placeholder, a time filler, a sloppy second; you are certainly not his/her priority. You’re just there for them to not face the four walls of their lonely life. The minute they have a better alternative, they run for it, leaving you behind and only resurfacing if/when the excitement dies again.
He/She Just Wants Someone…Not You
And there is a big difference. A lover is not a vacant position in a company that has to be filled. You have to feel like this person has been on a headhunt in order to find you. Does this person just want someone? Or want you with all your good and bad traits out of everyone in the world?
He/She Talks About Themselves Way Too Much
There is a fine line between sharing your life details with the person you love, and between being a narcissist! Think about finding someone who is also interested in learning details about your life, instead of just treating you like their personal therapist.
Deep Down, You Don’t Feel Their Love
This one is on you. We claim we can’t tell if someone loves us or is just providing attention. That’s rubbish. We can tell. We are just afraid of the truth, so we doubt the compass of our feelings. This compass is never wrong; we just have to be brave enough to listen to it.
Your love life is not a charity case. You deserve to be with someone who loves you, not someone who just needs a person in their life!