Ever heard Bruno Mars featuring Alexandra Burke’s song called ‘Before It Explodes’? If you haven’t you should, it is a very capturing one. Anyway, on my way to work this morning, my iPod was on shuffle and the song got played, and it had me thinking. What if two people were in love, but they weren’t compatible? Weren’t a good match? What should happen then?
I went through my playlist again, listened to every song there was on it that advocated the ‘love will save it all’ scenario, but none did the trick and convinced me, especially when Amy Whinehouse kept on insisting that ‘Love is a losing game’.
Let me rewind my track of thoughts for you.
What does it mean to feel compatible with you partner? It means that (despite the fact that you’re in love) you have common interests, common values, common life goals (common not identical), you can handle conflicts, you can support each other’s dreams, you feel safe together, you respect each other’s needs, and you master the art of compromising.
Don’t translate incompatible as different; you can (and probably will because none of us is the same as the other) be different in a relationship. You don’t have to like everything your partner does, but you should be interested in their interests. You don’t have to like it too, but you should be supportive of it.
But what if all of that wasn’t there? The lights were on and no one was home. You agreed to disagree. Imagine that same list up there in the negative form; can you live with that?
It is not a question of love, it is the fact that your incompatibilities are deal breakers. Long-term relationships are difficult enough to maintain, so not being a good match is a sure-fire way to end up separated.
I am a romantic myself and I want to believe that love has its super powers, but I also know that just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be with them. You can love people and be incompatible.
So stop the madness before the little things keep on piling up; stop it before it explodes.