crush

Okaaay, so here we are, stuck in that ugly corner where we don’t know if we should be labelled cheaters or not! “NOTHING happened”, that’s what we tell ourselves. But “Something is happening” that’s what the nagging voice inside our heads-that won’t shut up- would reply. Or that’s how you feel when you have a crush on someone while you’re in a relationship. Let’s make something clear, we have no control over our feelings. So having a crush on someone is not something to be blamed for. What we do have control over is our actions, acting on the feeling is the blameful act!

So if you’re unsure about how you’re feeling, and whether or not you had crossed the line of infidelity, here are your 7 red flags: 

Red Flag#1 You withdraw emotionally from your partner… 

Yes, you might have no control over your feelings, but you do have control over how you spend your emotional energy. If you notice that you’re pulling back from your partner, that you’re providing them with less time, less attention…Watch it, something might be up.

Red Flag#2 You’re shifting this attention toward your crush…

Something is definitely up! If you like spending time with this person, and if you do so while aware you’re developing feelings, and you did nothing to stop that…I can’t put off the evil day anymore, you’re in trouble.

Red Flag#3 You go a little out of your way to hang out with your crush…

It’s not coincidence anymore, or just coffee during the break, you’re planning it, because you’re liking it, and it makes you feel good, and then awful, but you keep saying that it’s harmless. Well, no my friend, it’s indeed harmful…to your relationship.

Red Flag#4 You spruce up (more than a little) before seeing them…

Okay, yeah we all like to look nice, guys or girls. But if you go an extra mile before meeting this person, if their opinion on your attractiveness matters, you have to ask yourself: Why?

Red Flag#5 You start comparing…

You will start to pick your partner’s flaw (How he is shy- how she sucks at conversations about books..) and start to note how your crush aced those things (He had such confidence – She is a big fan of Jane Austen…) When you turn your crush into a barometer for your partner, the red flag is flying high.

Red Flag#6 You wondered more than once what it would be like if you were both single…

If that scenario got played in your mind, if the ‘what if’ card passes through your head occasionally, where there are no obstacles between both of you…Problem ahead, pal. A big one.

Red Flag#7 You feel guilty…

No one knows you like yourself. Maybe none of the above signs happened with you. But still that guilty feeling is nagging at you. You feel conscience stricken, because you know your heart. You have your own definition of what cheating is. If you feel like cheating then you are.

Again, you define what cheating is, you define your red flags, so keep an eye on them if you want to stay faithful.