Dear Marwa Rakha,
I got into this relationship months ago. Everything was great and smooth at the start, and now things started to deteriorate. My girlfriend became distant and cold at times and when I try to mirror her actions by pulling away myself, she comes back hot. She has a lot of guy friends, two of them in particular that she keeps mentioning a lot. That part never bothered me because I am not a jealous person. Her actions with one of her “friends” started to become more like a relationship than a friendship. I started to get suspicious. Instead of accusing her, I picked up her phone while she was away and snooped around. I was right… She was sex talking with her “best friend”. In the past, she had also disrespected me by flirting with one of them on the phone by using sexual innuendos and such while she was next to me. So after that, I went and confronted her. She got angry and started to turn the tables by making me the bad person. At that moment, she dumped me pretty bad. So, I walked away and wished her a good life. Later, she calls me and starts to apologize and foolish me, I acted upon my emotions and let her talk. claiming that this was her way of joking with that friend and that nothing was going on. It is not only the sexual messages, but also she treated him better than me. She sent him pictures of herself and called him lovely nicknames. And his responses were always short. Yet, she still ran after him.
My question is, should I believe her and give her a chance? Please help me. Thank you.
Dear Sincere Lover,
No! Please do not give her another chance. Please do not give her the power to hurt you further and deeper. She sounds like she is in love with that “friend” and that he never gave her the time of the day. You deserve better.
In the future, if your gut feeling says that the relationship is going too fast, then it is. If you feel something is wrong, then it is. If you feel that it is too good to be true, it is either not good or not true.
Move on, and if she contacted you again, tell her that you deserved better and that you would not like to hear from her again. Do not sound angry or emotional; just state the obvious in a matter-of-fact-ish tone of voice.
If you feel a weakness towards her, remind yourself that she played you and was only trying to get her friend jealous. To her, this was never a relationship; this was only a way to tease her friend.
A tip that might make you stronger: Develop your sense of self-worth further.
Ask yourself: Do I deserve a partner like that? Do I deserve to be disrespected? Do I deserve to be unloved? Do I deserve to be used and abused?
You did all the right things, but with the wrong person. She’s not fair! not honest! ruining the relationship is totally her deed.
She was using you to make the other guy jealous, and he did not care, and will never care. If you give her another chance, she will abuse you further, hurt you more, and ruin your potential for ever finding a fulfilling relationship.
