Dear Marwa Rakha,
If you could imagine what a satisfactory relationship is, that would have to be what I’m currently in right now! Like most long-term relationships, ours has recently fallen into a mundane routine. A few weeks ago, I coincidentally met my ex. I didn’t make much of it until he texted me a day later, saying he wants to catch up and I found myself neglecting the fact that I’m currently not single and started texting him happily. My unresolved feelings started to surface and I found myself fighting more often with my boyfriend. My recent lack of interest had taken its toll on our relationship. My question here is not whether I was doing the right thing or not, I know I wasn’t! I’m just concerned that my actions mean that I’m not happy with my boyfriend and this little rebound experience is an eye-opener to maybe discover the truth and move on once and for all!
Dear Wondering,
Relationships are full of pitfalls and hidden traps; the one you slipped into is called “taken for granted”. Without any ill intentions from your side, you took yours for granted. When a couple reach a stable kind of relationship, one or both of them tend to take the stability and their partner for granted.
Right after, the need for adventure kicks in. This need is not as straightforward as it sounds. It manifests itself in many forms; a sense of restlessness, or a feeling of boredom. It could be an inexplicable sense of yearning, or being overwhelmed with nostalgia. In many cases, it is just the feeling of routine.
Seeing your ex, in this case, was the stone that created the ripples you needed. It could have been anything, or anyone else, a colleague, a client, who suddenly showed interest in you. It could be a total stranger complimenting you in the right way at the right time. It was bound to happen.
If you are looking for lessons to be learned, here they are:
- Avoid the rut and work on exploring new fun things together.
- Work on adding spices to your relationship; little hidden notes, cute sexy surprises, maintaining a balance between being too available and too unreliable.
- Plan for your future together and move ahead with these plans.
Here is a quote from one of my previous replies:
“A relationship also hits stagnation when it does not move forward; you need to always be busy doing something together. Some people get busy planning their wedding, buying furniture, decorating, looking into honeymoon destinations. Others are great at creating dreams together; saving street children, educating villagers, rescuing street animals.
There are also those who start a business together and those who have kids together. As long as you dream and grow together, then you will overcome boredom.”
