What is the difference between happy couples and other couples? I often find myself intrigued by the combination of different factors that decide the fate of a relationship. I see couples and I think to myself: “these two are going to make it”, and the next thing I know is they break up. The opposite is also true! I look at other couples and assume that there is no way these two would end up together. One month later, I hear they’re getting married! So, really, what do happy couples do differently to make their relationship real? I have concluded that couples who can talk freely about these 9 sensitive topics have a relationship that’s worth fighting for.
1- Your Relationship History
We’ve all had a past and that past includes failed relationships. It’s crucial to lay out both of your pasts on the table so you would avoid taking the same route in your current relationship. You two should be able to talk honestly about why you think it never worked out with any of your exes. Also, all past relationships have helped shape us into who we are today. Thus, refraining from bringing it up will keep you and your partner in the dark as to how you two became who you are right now.
2- Your Pet Peeves
Whether it’s the feel of chalk, people who scuff their feet as they walk or someone touching our noses, we’ve all got our pet peeves that get under our skin. For your relationship to flourish, both of you need to have a better understanding of what little habits annoy the other person.
You can’t be shy when talking about sex with your partner, because it’s an important subject that if you two decide to get married, will undoubtedly be unavoidable. It shouldn’t be a topic that makes you uncomfortable and shy.
4- Your Beliefs
No two people are exactly the same and more often than not, opposites do attract. Don’t expect your partner to uphold the same values and beliefs that you do. Instead, learn to talk about the core values you two hold dear! Embrace your differences and build upon them. Also, encourage each other to accept people with different ideologies and mindsets.
5- Feelings (All Kinds of them)
For some people, opening up comes easily without a fuss. For others, however, it takes effort and hard work. Nevertheless, your relationship won’t be healthy if you two can’t communicate your feelings to each other, even if it’s uneasy and painful. This includes feelings towards each other’s family and friends. While you shouldn’t straight out tell him/her that you dislike them, you should let them know why they make you uncomfortable or why you don’t enjoy spending time with them.
6- Embarrassing Moments
Your partner should be your safe harbor, your comfort zone and the one person you go to when you’re dying to tell someone about that embarrassing thing that happened to you. This will make your relationship more fun as now you can share all your shaming stories and hear theirs while you both laugh your asses off.
We all have insecurities and none of us like to admit them out loud in fear of being ridiculed and mocked. It takes courage and strength to be forthcoming about what makes us insecure. But if one can’t be open with their partner about that, problems are going to pile up until they come crashing down. The key is having a healthy perspective, commitment and trust in each other.
8- The Future
Discuss your plans and ideas about the future with your partner and don’t just assume that you two are on the same page. Your picture of the future may be so different from what your partner has in mind and you don’t even know it! The only way to know is to talk about it.
9- Your Harmless Crushes
Jealousy is a popular notion everywhere! No one likes to hear their partner going off about how hot this other girl/guy is, but we’re human and physical beings. Like all sexual creatures, we are subject to instinctive sexual desire triggered by appropriate criteria. So, just because we find other people attractive doesn’t mean that the love we have for our partner ceases to exist. If you want a healthy relationship, then admit to each other whom you find attractive, celebrities and otherwise.
At the end of the day, you want someone who gifts you with crystallizing moments of appreciation and understanding. For that to happen, you need to be with someone who knows every little detail about you.