We’re all familiar with this movie plot; who could forget how overprotective Adel Emam was of his daughter in the movie “3aris Mn Geha Amneyah’, how picky Mary Mounib was while observing potential bride Lobna Abd El Aziz in “Haza Howa El Hob”, or how demanding Naïma El Saghir was as a mother in law in “El Sha2a Mn 7a2 El Zoga”. The parent that doesn’t want to let go of their son or daughter, or makes the marriage challenging… we all loved to watch this movie plot, and that’s because by the end of the movie, the parent would realize that the happiness of their son or daughter is what truly matters, so they quit the bull****, and the marriage thrives. That’s not the case anymore.
A fat share of marriages is crumbling, and a fat share of them is doing so because of the parents in law! It’s like it’s a new trend! Let’s not even get into engagements that get called off, as if you’re cancelling your library membership! What is going on? Have parents become suddenly selfish? Are they the issue or the couple? Here is my conclusion for this trending fiasco:
1. It is a big mismatch
I never believed in the saying “Marriage isn’t about two people; it’s about two families” but I do now. I saw it with my own eyes when two families don’t click together, when they make everything harder for their son or daughter until the two poor souls think they could only find peace by separating.
2. When you let them in…too much
It is your life, your marriage, the only person who has a say here other than you is your spouse. Parents are welcome to voice their opinions, but while knowing it is only advisory, not executive. Other than that it is her mother’s say, and your mother’s, and her father’s and the whole neighborhood’s… that’s just too much people in one marriage, of course it will explode.
3. When the son and daughter are too dependent on their parents
This point differs from the previous one in the fact that you don’t just let them in, you ask them in because you can’t do on your own. You’re too dependent on them to do anything yourself, and I won’t put off the evil day anymore. You shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place, because the core of marriage is responsibility.
4. Parents think no one is good enough for their kids
Parents love their kids, there is no question about that. Of course they will want to see them with a perfect partner, but when no one is ever good enough. When they find faults in everything their son/daughter in law does, this puts pressure on the marriage until eventually it becomes at the risk of falling apart.
5. When you don’t have a strong relationship
At the end, a house divided against itself can’t stand. I know it is a lot of stress to have a parent in law waging war against you, but still, a strong relationship can stand its ground toward anything. I didn’t say, you don’t love each other enough, but I said you don’t have a strong relationship, that’s different. If you don’t know the difference, that should tell you something.