Out of all the bad things that happen in the world today, death is the one thing we don’t have a say on. It’s true that dealing with the loss of a loved one can take its toll on us. It’s important to understand, however, that there is no right way to grieve or mourn someone. Life just doesn’t function this way. You won’t find an instructions manual to tell you what to do and how to do it. We all grieve differently. Some confide in people, while others isolate themselves. Some cry and others put on a tough act. It’s important to understand and acknowledge that in order to move on and get by with our lives. Below are the answers of 7 people when asked about how they dealt with the loss of their loved one, maybe you can relate to one or two.
  1. “My grandma died 2 years ago. I was pretty lost and pissed at the world then. I had all these questions that I never really found an answer to. I wanted to scream at God. Why me, why her? But nevertheless I managed to put on a tough act. Her funeral was on my birthday, and I was so obsessed with showing everyone that I was fine that I think I made everyone uncomfortable by my continuous “aren’t you going to wish me a happy birthday” jokes. It came at a cost though, because yes I didn’t show weakness, but I never really mourned enough. I remember I cut off all my friends then. I lost almost everyone because I was angry all the time, and I couldn’t share the reason with anyone. I got over it though. I did some volunteering, and I told myself that it wasn’t for God. God took my grandma away from me; I was surely not doing it for Him. As for the volunteer work, well, it changed my life. It gave me a purpose, and it’s something to remember my beautiful Grams by.”
  2. “It was a very shady time in my life when my father passed away. I did all the wrong things and said all the wrong words, but I came out of it with a stronger relationship with God or so I would hope.”
  3. “I remember I did a lot of crying. I cried so much my tears couldn’t fall anymore. It was horrible. I was confused. For the longest time, I told myself that it didn’t happen, that he was traveling. It took a lot of willpower and crying to convince myself that he was really gone, and when I finally did, it was the worst.”
  4. “I didn’t go out or talk to anyone for a couple of weeks after. Everyone acted like they knew what I was going through, when in fact even I did not know. It was annoying. I couldn’t handle the looks of pity in everyone’s eyes. I had lost my mother, but most of all I’d lost that feeling of being loved. The one person who loved me and cared for me was gone. I mean I’m good now, but let’s just say I’ve never truly felt loved after she was gone.”
  5. “I’ve never talked about it to anyone, and I’m sure as hell not going to start now. I dealt with it alone is all I have to say. It was lonely. It was tragic, but I’m in a better place now and I got here by myself.”
  6. “I confided in my family and friends. When you lose someone really close, you realize that you need to take care of the people around you, so I started spending more time with my family and friends. I was never alone, and just like that I realized that the key to life was to surround yourself by people you love and who love you.”
  7. “I was very angry at life. I’m not going to tell you that I became atheist, because I didn’t, but I definitely questioned God’s take on the whole situation. More than anything, though, I was sad. When people ask us how we are doing when someone we love dies, we opt for the basic “I’m fine” answer, but the truth is I was sad. I was very sad; I had never felt sadder in my whole life. Sometimes, I felt so sad it would burn my chest. I cried every chance I got.  On some days, it felt like things are never going to get better, but they did.”

Finally, it’s important to acknowledge that the journey of grief is different for everyone, but whatever path you choose to take, you will get by.