Whether we’re the ones who broke up with someone or the ones who got broken up with, we’re all guilty of committingĀ these small ratherĀ shameful but also rather sad acts. Regardless of whetherĀ it isĀ in hopes of getting them back or making them jealous, or even just out of plain curiosity, we’ve compiled a list of these post-break up habits that we need to stop. Immediately.

Fake drunk texting/calling them

We’re all unfortunately guilty of having drunk texted or called our ex at least once when we were intoxicated. Thank God we have our friends there to stop us from repeating that mistake. Unfortunately, some of us take sadness to another level and actually call/text them when we’re not even drunk (or not drunk enough) and pretending we are (you know you did it before). Your ex will probably never find out you weren’t actually drunk, but how will you live with yourself?Ā Shame. On. You.

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  • Stalking their social media

I’ll start off with Facebook, look at the recent posts and tagged pictures. I’ll thenĀ work my way to Instagram, stalk him then stalk hisĀ best friends, stalk the tagged locations and see where exactlyĀ they went. Stalk the b***h who commented on his last picture. I’ll then check WhatsApp, see if he changed his WhatsApp picture… *facepalm* It’s a vicious vicious cycle. We need to either block them, deactivate our accountsĀ till we’ve moved on or just man up and get a grip.

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  • Analyzing their Snapchats to see who theyā€™re with and where they might be

Come on, you know you do this. If you have your ex on Snapchat, you will replay their story endless amounts of times ’till you figure out where they are, who they’re with, what they’re wearing, what they ate on the day.. the list goes on. Stop obssessing over them; they sure as hell aren’t giving you the time of day and are out having fun without a care in the world. You should be doing the same.

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  • Going to places where we might run into them (and making sure we look hot AF)

We will start frequenting places or areas thatĀ we used to go together often in hopes of “coincidentally” running into them and by odd chance having our hair/make up/outfit on fleek. Maybe, we’ll even be in a gown, surrounded by a hoard of perfectly sculpted Abercrombie & Fitch male models but you know, it’ll all a coincidence. The Lord works in mysterious ways sometimes.

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  • Posting pictures when weā€™re having fun or with guys to make them jealous

We will suddenly become the most social, most-outgoing human beings that have ever walked this earth, even though we hate going out and just hate people in general. We will also not hold back from publicising our new party-animal lifestyle all over social media to ensure our ex sees them. And IF we happen to run into some guys we know (whom we probably victimized in the club and forced them to take selfies), we’ll share a few pictures with them with heart and kiss emojis plastered all over them. If this is your attempt at getting them back or making them jealous, stop it now. You just look pathetic and they’re probably just thinking how sad and desperate you are.

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  • Exaggerating how well we’re doing when we run into their friends

If we happen to run into their friends, we will be the best version of ourselves x1000, because we know they will report back to the ex with all the details. Yes, I just won the Nobel prize for finding a solution to world hunger. I also just got chosen to be Maxim’s sexiest woman alive.Ā I also just got a boob job and I’m now going out with Brad Pitt. Oh and how’s uhmmm what’s his name again? Oh, (insert ex’s name), how are they doing? Subtle. Real subtle.

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