Egyptians are creatures of habits. We take on a habit and never stop, even if it becomes irrelevant! Surely, we have a lot to complain about, but do we have to express our annoyance using the same questions and statements every time? In the name of the new year, why not try to deviate from the norm and be inventive with our daily pondering. This year, try not to ask any of the following redundant questions.
1- Eh el za7ma di?
I think we’ve lived in Egypt long enough to know how bad the traffic here is. Yet, every time we drive, we still ask “Eh el za7ma di?” like we’re shocked at what we’re saying. Yes, the traffic in Egypt is otherworldly and will induce amazement, but surely we’ve endured it enough to stop wondering “What is this traffic?”
2- Eh el bard/7ar da?
The same goes for the state of the weather. When it’s too cold, we ask “Eh el bard da?” and when it’s hot, we ask “Eh el 7ar da?” like we’re experiencing both for the first time. News Flash: From November to February, it’s winter season. The weather’s pretty much hot the rest of the year!
3- Eh el faty da?
Let’s just assume that all Egyptians beyfato. In the secret handbook: “Egyptian Superpowers: All The Things Egyptians Excel at”, el faty is the first and longest chapter.
4- Howa el dollar ba2a bekam?
It’s only gonna bring us down!
5- Sayma/Sayem wala zay kol sana?
There is a special place in hell for all the relatives who ask you this question EVERY.SINGLE.RAMADAN.
6- Mesh hanefra7 beek/beeki orayeb?
And right next to that special place in hell, there is a more spacious and tailor-made place in hell for relatives who corner you at weddings and family gatherings, invade your personal space and demand an answer as to why you’re still single.
7- Ezayak? Eh el akhbar? Kolo tamam?
A normal Egyptian conversation can go like this:
A: Ezayek 3amla eh?
B: Ana kwayesa, inta 3amel eh?
A: Ana El7. Eh Akhbarek?
B: Kolo mashi El7.
A: Kolo tamam 3andek? Wahshani walahi
Seriously? How many ways can we ask someone the simplest question of all: How are you?
8- Ray7a beena 3ala fein ya masr?
We shouldn’t ask, because Egypt’s not moving. Maybe we should though, move far, far away.
And of course there’s the question of whether or not somebody has change, but that’s a question we’ll keep asking until the day we die!