By: Ingi Diab
Throughout history, mankind has been trying to relentlessly pursue happiness whether they realize it or not. Some were somehow deprived; others attained it easily; but few were actually capable of identifying it and understanding what it truly is!
Undoubtedly, each and every one of us has been trying to fathom what ‘happiness’ is, in addition to how and when we could achieve it! We all go through some hard phases and some easy ones; some good and some lousy ones. That’s why it is important to soothe, ponder, and determine what is happiness and what are its many facets. It could be narrowed down to three categories:
‘Genuine Happiness’
It is a state when you are literally ‘over the moon’, when you shine, when your heart, soul, body, and mind are in total peace and harmony. This could happen because you reached a certain goal, which you worked on and yearned for; or when ‘miracles’ happen and by that I mean, when you long for something you had limited capabilities to attain and out of nowhere you find the dream becoming a reality! And finally when you are with people you feel yourself around; when you do not have to fake anything or to ‘beautify’ a word you utter. When each day with that person or those people is a new chapter; a new adventure, an exploration, and/or an opportunity to be grabbed. Boredom never takes over since every day you distinguish novel human dimensions and tackle all the events that occur in both your lives freely and openly.
‘Pain and Agony’
You wonder how they are both even related to happiness. It is a state when you ‘think’ you are happy just because you did something that someone or the society obliged or manipulated you to do. For instance, getting married at a certain age or declining a scholarship to study abroad just because you are a female! Or, when you compromise your principles and settle for less, merely trying to fit into a favourable group or giving in to peer pressure. Or, when you do something just because it is the only option you have got. For instance, sticking to a job you detest, or inheriting your parents’ career. You do not really realize that it is the status of ‘pain and agony’ until you find your body aching, your mind screaming, your heart full of scars, and your soul suffocating! That’s exactly when you realize that it has never been ‘happiness’ yet it is the extreme opposite. And yes, this is the perfect timing for you to seek change. That’s when you better cut losses, face reality, try to let go, and move on, in order to lift the burden off your shoulders.
‘Fake Happiness’
This is a mid-way between the first and the second definitions mentioned above. It is the greater part of our lives; we live it regularly especially when we cannot attain ‘genuine happiness’ nor really live in ‘pain and agony’. It is when we try to co-exist, tolerate, entertain ourselves or keep ourselves busy so as not to pay much attention to our very circumstances. We keep on seeing the full halfof the glass. We invest and work hard to make ourselves happy. In this condition, we zoom in and rely more on ourselves than on anyone else. We become our own best friends. This could also mean laughing through tears and avoiding crying at times of tragedies. Admittedly, it is better than the second definition but still a feeble substitute for the first.
In the end, life will get us through ups and downs, and will show us sweetness and bitterness. So, between these edges we must neither forget nor fail to live, i.e. to be happy, to feel, to meditate, to share our lives with others yet strongly and confidently know our own situations better than anyone else could ever do for us. In other words, we shall live and let live, yet do it happily and satisfactorily!
