Before you start loading your guns with bullets of how shallow physical attraction is and how looks are superficial, and before you start shaming people for their desires, let me break it for you; a relationship is about a strong emotional AND physical attraction. You see the โandโ in the past sentence? Is it not written in capital letters by mistake!
Men and women are both free to put a premium on looks as much or as little as they want. There is nothing wrong or shameful with that, and here is why:
1. We donโt choose who and what we are attracted to
You canโt trick attraction, either you like something or you don’t, you canโt control that. The Law of Attraction uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality. Much of this is built into our biology or upbringing. You donโt really choose on any conscious level to be attracted to that person, so why should we settle for less that what we want?
2. Physical attraction doesnโt mean you would turn a blind eye on emotional attractionย
Letโs say you started talking to someone you find attractive, and after a few minutes they turned out to be as dull as dishwasher, this would turn the attraction switch off. So it is not about the looks; thatโs shallow. It is the person as whole. You have to click with someone on all levels, thatโs when attraction turns into something bigger.
3.ย We shouldnโt be threatened by other peopleโs desires
Someone being attracted to something weโre not shouldnโt make us feel inferior. We shouldnโt take that as a personal attack and translate it into โI am not good enough.โ And then to seal ourselves from the pain thatย we donโt fit someoneโs idea of attractive, we start to judge and attack them for their โpoorโ choices. Yes, some people are shallow, but not everyone is. Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
4. It is unfair to the person youโre with if you secretly donโt find them attractive
If you decided to be platonic and picked someone youโre not attracted to, this is so unfair for this person, because they deserve to be with someone who would find them desirable. You wouldnโt just be cheating yourself; youโd be cheating them too. Youโre not doing them a favour.
So no, it is not shallow if you want to fall in love with someone you consider good looking. If thatโs what will make you happy, go on and search for that someone, and donโt give a single thought for the hypocritical squadโs say on your life.
