Over the past decade, many have complained of the hardships of being in a relationship. After the troubles many of us faced in our own relationships, we find that we’ve set the bar so low for other people. We let anyone and everyone in. We’ve become so easy to accept those who are good for us and those who aren’t, just to be in a new and exciting relationship to repair what we’ve lost.
Lack of Self Love
After an abusive relationship (not necessarily physically abusive), you begin to hate yourself. Ideas like “what did I do wrong?” and “why am I so undesirable?” rush through your head and change what you accept in a newfound relationship, or in anything in general. Self loathing is a solid reason to set your standards low.
Fear of Losing the Person
At times, we accept the unacceptable. We set the bar so low when it comes to expectations from our partners that we act in ways we don’t understand. We do this in fear of this person leaving our lives, when really, they should be.
Standing Behind the Curtain
During a relationship, sometimes we fail to see what disadvantages the relationship imposes. Being in love or being interested in someone is like dropping a curtain in front of your eyes. The excitement and the constant attention causes you to ignore the little things that would usually hurt you.
Taking What You Can Get
In some cases, some of us have never set the bars high to set it low. When you’ve never seen the way you deserve to be treated, you won’t be able to realize that this isn’t what you need.
Believing It Could Be Worse Than This
When that guy we don’t need comes around, we may think he isn’t the best, but he is enough because there is worse. We feel like he is going to fix what others have ruined because he’s slightly better, which still does not suffice.
The Wrong Guy
Lately, the common issue among us is that we get attention from the wrong guy. The guy that wants to hurt you and play with your feelings. The one that gives you attention and wants to deplete you from everything.
Giving the Benefit of the Doubt
Giving the benefit of the doubt is usually the right thing to do. However, sometimes we give the benefit of the doubt to those who don’t deserve it. When we give them that benefit of the doubt, we allow them to hurt us in ways we don’t usually accept. But because we believe there is more to the story, we let things go.
Setting the bar low is destructive and demeaning. You forget your worth and settle for less just to make yourself feel better.