Breaking up can be heart-rending and painful. There are two parties involved inย this sad story:ย the one who breaks up and the other who gets broken up with. Onย either side of the equation, there are unwrittenย rules that you have to follow in order to be decent, not hurt your ex partner andย keep your dignity intact. Like most other things, the process of breaking up also has a protocol! Of course, situations varyย depending on the duration of the relationship, and the reasons behind splitting up. FYI, here’s the breaking up etiquette:
If you’re breaking up with someone…..
You have to confrontย them
Forget about breaking up viaย a text message, a phone call or a third party. You need to do thisย face-to-face. Yes, it’s much harder than just breaking up over a text message, however, itโs the ‘right’ way to do it. Your ex partnerย deserves to beย treated respectfully, even if youโre not on good terms anymore. This person was once dear to you and that implies on you to respect them and do the right thing.
You have to clarify the reason and be honest about it
Whichever way you chosoe to break up, you need to clarify the reason to them. Tell them about your issuesย with the relationship and try not to blame them in anyway because youโre not looking for a solution.
Hear what they have to say
If they have something to say, you should listenย attentivelyย and discuss their point of viewย if they wish to. Your problem might turn out to be a misunderstanding after all; you have to hear them out.
Be there for them
Iโm well acquainted with the fact that itโs too hard to remainย friends with your ex, although some people manage to. What I mean by โbe there for themโ is that if they needed you in any way you should make yourselfย available, especially if your relationship lasted for too long.
If someone breaks up with you….
Remain calm and donโt make a scene
It’s heart breaking particularly whenย you donโt feel the same way and were not expecting it. However, that doesnโt mean you should make a huge scene or cry. That makes it way harder on the other person and it actually degrades you. Stay calm.
Try to understand whatย the reason is
Of course itโs your right to understandย what went wrong especially if you were not on the same page. You can ask about the reasons and could try to clear the issue if you thought it was a small misunderstanding. If they were breaking up with you over an unintended mistake you committed,ย try to defend yourself and apologize. However, if they were 100% determinedย to end the relationship,ย you shouldnโt be a pushover. You should at least give them some time.
Keep your dignity intact
Never beg someone to stay in a relationship if they donโt want to. Whatever the reason is, you should never humiliate yourself. You wouldnโt like it if they stayed in this relationship out of pitty, would you?
Respect their decision
In the end, you should respect their decision. You shouldnโt call them, text them or try to make them change their minds.
In both cases you shouldn’tย bad mouth each other behindย each others’ backs; keepย itย civilized. You owe each other that much.
