You know all those “cute” memes on social media where they picture girls answering the questions “Who are we?” “Women”, “What do we want” “We don’t know”, “When do we want it?” “NOW”!
Well, we are about to take you on a ride of what women know they ABSOLUTELY don’t want to hear! Consider it a favor on our part, and whenever you catch yourself about to say any of these things, abort mission. Abort mission now!
1. Enty nekadeya
Let’s get one thing straight, a girl is never going to see herself as the “nekadeya” in any scenario. It’s always your fault she’s mad or sad; just let it go and never ever mention those two words to her if you want to keep your life.
2. Enty hatakly kol da?
Yes, I will most definitely eat all of this. What are you trying to say? Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to eat as much as I want, or do you think that I’m fat? You better come out straight and say it, no need for indirect questions.
3. Shaklek ta3ban keda leh?
Did you seriously just call me ugly? What do you mean I look tired? I’m your girlfriend. You should be showering me with love and calling me beautiful, but instead you say that I look tired? Has it really come to this between us?
4. Matklmeesh el-walad da/ el-bent di
I have one song, I mean two words for you: “You don’t own me, I’m not just one of your many toys. You don’t own me, don’t say I can’t go with other boys.”
5. Mateegy m3aya el-gym
Tell me that I’m fat one more time and this relationship is over. But I’m not saying you’re fat, I’m only saying you should work on your fitness level. No, you’re not concerned about my fitness level. You’re just trying to imply that I’m fat without hurting my feelings.
6. Shaklek 7elw awi el-naharda
This one is like a double edged sword. On one hand, you’re complimenting us but on the other hand, you’re implying that we didn’t look pretty enough the last time we hung out with you. So what you can do is call us beautiful all day, everyday and that way you can avoid this situation
7. Enty bent wana walad
This falls back on the mat3mleesh, matelbseesh, matro7eesh. Apparently, there are these simple things a girl can’t do simply because she’s a girl or a woman and society deems it inappropriate. But if a guy does it, it’s totally fine and appropriate. If you’re one of those guys, then just keep your words to yourself because there is no woman in this whole wide world that would want to listen to your bullsh*t.
If you text a girl that, I want you to be sure that, in her mind, she has killed you a thousand times, in a million different ways. You choose your poison, right?
Did I just pour my heart out to you so that you could tell me “ma3lesh” in return? Where are all the “you got this” pep talks? Am I really not worth a 5-minute conversation of your time?
10. “Insert a girl’s name” lebsaha helw awi enahrda
Are you looking at other girls when I’m with you? No No, I’m so happy and not at all jealous. Please tell me more about how beautiful, good looking or fashionably dressed Follana is!
11. Mammty kanet dayman m3wedany 3ala keda
Do I look like I’m your mother? No, right? then why don’t you go running back to your mom, mamaboy!
12. Enty 3omrek mahtfhamy/ Enty msh fahma
Do you mean to say that just because I’m a girl, I can’t function like normal people and understand things like you? Am I not human enough to understand the “depth” of your soul?
13. Makhadtesh baly/ Msh 7ases en fee far2 f shaklek
You mean to tell me that the 2000 LE I just spent on my hair and make up are worthless to you? How can you not notice the two inches I just cut off my hair?
What do you mean chill? YOU chill. I’m chilled. In fact, I am so cool I can fly to the sky and sh*t on your face 🙂
I didn’t just go through the effort of asking you about what’s bothering you so that you could tell me mafeesh. Clearly something is up, so the least you could do is man up and admit it.
So here is your guide, you poor men. We know you can never win, but at least you can try 😉