It’s true that we are our biggest enemies. Too often in life we blame ourselves for the things we have done or haven’t done. We blame ourselves for things long forgotten by those whom we have wronged. But what’s the purpose really? Is blaming yourself going to go back in time and fix your mistakes? No, it won’t. So why don’t you hop on with us and finally forgive yourself for all the things you’ve been desperately carrying on your shoulder.

1. For not being enough to some people

So what if you’ve crossed some people in your life whom you’ve honestly loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with, only to realize that you were never good enough for them. It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault. You gave them your best and if your best was not enough, then to hell with it.

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2. For not reaching your unreasonable goals

When you were 15, your promised yourself that by the age of 22 you would have done so much for yourself, but here you are 23 and broke. You’re blaming yourself for all you haven’t achieved. Well, here is a reality check: You are only 23. You will achieve your dreams and goals. Just give it time!

3. Not liking what everyone likes

When you were in high school, you would get bullied for not watching the same TV series like all your friends or for not using Twitter like you’re supposed to, and back then it might have been fine. Right now, however, it’s not. Being different is not something that you should blame yourself for. Embrace your uniqueness.

4. For going back on promises you made when you were young

Did you promise someone that you were going to spend the rest of your life with them, but didn’t? Did you change your goals or go in to a career that is not related to your degree? So what! You were young and stupid. You shouldn’t be accountable for things you said you would do when you were 10 or 20 or even things you’ve said a year ago. We change, we learn. We evolve.

5. For the way you treated your parents and relatives when you were younger

This is a reminder to myself before anyone. We often blame ourselves for the things we said to our parents when we were younger, or let’s face it, the things we said yesterday when we were mad and pissed at the world. The truth is, however, your parents love you. They know you didn’t mean those things you said or did. So move on. Let it go, and stop blaming yourself. Whether they’re gone now or are still alive, they’ve forgiven you a long time ago, so why haven’t you forgiven yourself?

6. The things you should have said

How often in life do we let our pride and egos interfere with our lives? Too many relationships and friendships ended solely for the reason that we didn’t say the right words at the right time. Do you have a relative who died before you’ve told them that “You love them”? Could you have salvaged a really important relationship or friendship had you simply said the words “I’m sorry”? Well, you didn’t. And as much as you would like to blame yourself, you should know that it’s OK. It’s OK that you didn’t say what you should’ve said. You acted on what you knew at that time, and that is all the assurance you need in your life.

7. For refusing to take sh*t from anybody

All your life you’ve stood up for yourself. Your dignity and pride were of more worth to you than any person or anything, and despite what this little voice in your head keeps telling you, that’s OK. Putting yourself first is OK as long as it works for you.

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8. For investing in the wrong people

I’ll tell you one thing. Spending half your life with what turned out to be the wrong people is not your fault. Loving deeply and being loyal is not something to be ashamed of or sorry for. In fact, you should give yourself a pat on the back because you managed to defy all odds and love people who weren’t very lovable. You knew how to love people who didn’t love you back, and that, my friend, is one of the most noble things you could ever do.

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9. For not knowing what you want out of life

We’re often forced to believe that we should know what we want to do with our lives, when in fact that is one of the most ridiculous things ever taught to us. Especially since we have the rest of our lives to figure it out, and just because some people already did, doesn’t mean you should too.

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10. For failing

Social media has caused us to believe that failure doesn’t happen. We log onto our social media accounts only to find happy people with happy lives. We think that everyone has already achieved their goals or is living the life they’ve always dreamed of, but that is not true. Failure is inevitable and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you will be able to forgive yourself and get on with your life.

Forgive yourself.