By: Amira ElSayed
We all have those relatives we meet once a year at a family gathering. There are those we barely recognize because of how drastically they’ve changed and those we just wish weren’t part of our family to being with.
Here are 9 types of relatives most of us come across:
1. Hot Cousin
Ugh, great, my hot cousin. Now I have to try not to stare at them awkwardly and pray to God I can hide my visible attraction.
2. Your Extremely Old Relative
I know it’s not their fault they’re insanely old and in terrible health, but they’re really making everyone super depressed. Try to make some pleasant small talk with them (and their oxygen machine) and they keep talking about their inoperable tumor. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I EVER WANTED SOMEONE TO JUST TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER.
3. Little Cousin Who’s Just Staring at his iPad
Listen, when I was your age, I wasn’t allowed to have an iPad all the time, let alone get to spend the entire holiday season binge watching cartoon series for 8 hours straight. I had to endure nonstop boredom with the family, and so should you.
4. Uncle Who Takes the Best Spot on the Couch and Immediately Falls Asleep
They move to the middle part of the couch to watch some football and BAM! Straight to sleep. Now no one can sit there without dealing with sleepy uncle snoring right next to them.
5. Strict Uncle
The one who always makes you believe he’s watching your every move, and always makes you double think what you did wrong. You always feel like they have binoculars; they’re like Peeping Tom.
6. Chatterbox (khalty el-latata)
The relative that just can’t seem to stop talking, even if only to take a bite of food (yes, this is also the one that talks while chewing, giving you the lovely sight of the inside of their mouth). How do they possibly have anything left to say?
7. Gossip Queen
Want to know who your cousin’s dating now or what that argument between your two aunts is really about? This relative will definitely have the scoop…even if some of it is a little misleading.
8. The Impatient One
If they didn’t leave five minutes after walking through the door, they feel like they didn’t leave soon enough. You can pick this relative out of the crowd easily, as they’ll likely have their shoes and jacket on the moment everyone’s done eating. So, are you leaving yet?
9. The Cheek Pincher
If your ‘akher el 3an2ood‘ in your family and even if you’re in or past your 20s (aren’t we a little old for this?), you can always count on one family member to pinch your cheeks and go off about how you look. Having a relative like this in the family is pretty much inevitable, so you might as well get used to it.
10. Wanna Be Your Friend Uncle
Yes, we all have that person in our family. He might not be an uncle to you, but it has to be someone from the older generation who acts as if they’re your friend and you can tell them anything when in reality they’re kinda creepy. Please act your own age sir and go sit with the rest of the grown-ups.
If you can relate to any of the above, let us consider ourselves lucky that we rarely ever have to encounter those people we so call family!