useless

We can’t help but observe some people’s desperate attempts to become celebrities; each promoting anything and everything and doing their best to export it to the rest of the world. From pointless fashionistas to very high profile individuals, we often see scientists trying to make their theories heard, inventors hoping that the government would sponsor their inventions or at least help them, writers, visionaries, artists, business startups … All sorts of people who are trying to make a positive change and hope that the media would back their quest. Unfortunately, the media’s preoccupied with far more important issues.

Ahmed El Tabbaa3

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The most famous useless persona on both the internet and TV, Ahmed El Tabbaa3’s sole life achievement is an infamous sex call whereby he contacts a girl named “Heba”, begs her to get in her pants, and tries to comfort her when she says that she fears her husband by suggesting that he can catch him in a sac (Agebholek f showal). The whole call revolves around how great he is in bed,  how happy he will make her and how much he loves her (A-7abeebet alby A-Heba) despite the fact that they never met.

Ironically, this guy somehow ended up as a guest in several TV shows and became a well-known figure to many Egyptians.

Ahmed Shiba Lover

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Ahmed Gouda, AKA Shiba’s greatest fan, is a guy who crashed the stage to hug a singer called Ahmed Shiba during a live performance. He complimented the singer by saying weird things like “Our masters are proud of you (Asyadna Radyeen 3annak)”, “You are 100 100 100 100% (Enta meyya el meyya el meyya el meyya)” and “The motorcycle doesn’t work except by your voice, brother (El makana mabtemsheesh ella 3ala sotak ya a5y)”

Hassan El Berence/Awlad Selim

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And the useless people’s list goes on and on. Some youngsters created a song which babbles some ill advice that sound deep such as “No friend should be friended (Mafeesh sa7eb yetsa7eb)” and “If you hurt me, I’ll hurt you and I will ruin your image (Hat3awarny ha3awarak w habawazlak manzarak)”.

They have lately been interviewed on TV and are starring in an upcoming movie.

Al Khalil Comedy

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This, for instance, is the least funny human being that ever existed, and despite that, you would rarely find someone who doesn’t recognize his name.

Ahmed Hassan Khalil, AKA Khalil Comedy, is a man who is so confident about his skills that he doesn’t care much about any criticism. He sees himself as a talented comedian, singer, songwriter, pianist, and many other things that only he thinks he’s good at.

He became well-know within a very short period and got featured in a TV commercial.

Sayed “Ayam Sooda”

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Sayed Hagag is someone who appeared in a video during the power of ousted president Mohammed Morsi.  Referring to the Morsi era and repeating the words “Ba2ollak ayyam soooda (Believe me, these are dark days)” several times made it sound funny at the time. The video went viral and he appeared in a TV interview to talk about his reasons for calling the Morsi era “ayyam soda”.

  • Ayah Abdel-rasoul

    not cool to call someone useless, instead call it famous for no reason