By Riham Sherif
A wise woman once told once “Don’t only believe what you hear, believe in what you see”.
I have read so many articles about divorce and listened to all kinds of opinions about the “Divorce Monster”, but it’s really nothing compared to real life knowledge. From my experience as a divorced woman, I can safely say that most of what you read and hear is not true. I think that the consequences of divorce communicated are very exaggerated, so allow me to share my personal experience with you.
Let’s go through all what I have been told, then tell you the reality of each and every claim mentioned. I want to clarify that I will only go through the negatives people were 100% sure I will face after the divorce.
The Husband’s Snatcher
Let me start by the most hilarious claim: “All of your married friends will end their relationship with you, fearing that you might steal their husbands!”
This didn’t happen at all, my friends are still my friends and none of them ever thought this way. I visit my friends at home while their husbands are present and we all even travel together. Nothing changed about our friendship after getting my new title. Finally, if any divorced woman experienced this, let me tell you that it’s clearly your friends’ problem not yours. If a friend decided to terminate her relationship with you because you are now single and she is terribly scared that her husband could think of you romantically, she is probably insecure and it’s her own fault not yours.
My options are only limited to losers
They will say “You will for sure get married to someone terrible, who would want to marry you except a loser, you are now divorced, you are lesser than any other woman- defected.”
No, No! I am not less than anyone, maybe I am better than many. What did I do to attract losers and terrible men? What has changed in me? Nothing at all, I’m still the same lady I was before getting married. Divorce has probably made me wiser and I can now say no to losers.
Everyone will use you
They said “All men you will be dating will not be serious about you; they will just be taking advantage of you either, financially or sexually.”
Let me stop here and tell you that single ladies are just like their divorced counterparts; they both face this same issue. What can stop men from taking benefit of you is saying no and setting your limits.
You cannot get divorced again
My mum once told me “If you got married again and it didn’t work out, you will never be able to get another divorce. You will be doomed in this unhappy marriage forever; you can’t handle the title ‘divorced’ twice.”
Excuse me, why will I not do this again? Why would I stay in another unhappy marriage? I now know how and when to end it if I have to. I already handled the title of divorced woman and I can handle double the trouble.
You cannot raise your kids alone
“Your kids will get negatively affected, kids cannot be raised properly without their biological father.”
No your kids will not be affected if they are loved and understood. You can easily raise them alone, and I think most married women today are solely taking care of their kids. If you got married to a loving person, he can be a great substitute to their biological father. Just make sure to pick the right guy this time.
To conclude, if you are so sure about your decision and think that divorce is your only solution, please be certain that there are negatives but life isn’t all that bad after getting divorced. Most of the claims you will be hearing aren’t real. May be they were legitimate in the past, I mean like 20 years ago, but surely they are not valid today.
People now know very well that divorced women are not lesser than other women. What happened was destined to and no lady ever wanted her marriage to up end in a divorce. You can very well control what others think of you with your personality and attitude. Finally, do not worry about your kids, they will be fine, just love them and they will be great.
According to CAPMUS 2017 report, divorce rates have reached 60.7% in cities, meaning that every family has a divorced case, every group of friends has 2 or 3 divorced friends. People get in touch with a divorced woman every day and they know that it could be their daughter, sister, mother, relative or best friend.
About the writer: Riham is a Marketing and Communications Team Leader in one of the biggest names in the construction field. She is also a writer and a mother. Riham graduated from the American University in Cairo with BA in Mass Communication and a Minor in Psychology.