You’ve met, you talked while you know damn well they’re already taken. You usually feel comfortable chatting withย them because you know that there is absolutely no chanceย of this developing any further. You were also being totally yourself because impressing them wasn’t something you wanted to do. You never initiated a call, a text or anything. They did. Eventually, you start developing feelings or at least wonder if they’re connecting withย you on a friendly basisย or actuallyย reciprocating your feelings. Obviously, this is a highlyย sensitive topic of unique circumstances; Identity will beย presenting randomย opinions about it.
Is It Really Our Choice?
You have two options to choose from: you either acknowledge your feelings butย choose not to take mattersย any further, or deny your feelings until things develop and start getting out of control.
“I think that we can’t control our feelings, but we can control our actions. If you fall for someone, that’s fine; these are your emotions. If you act upon your feelings and start making advances though, then you’re at fault.” – Says A.S.
“Falling in love is out of one’s hand!! Some people can control their feelings; others just can’t”-Says N.M.
“I think to say you ‘fell in love’ with someone who is in a relationship would be a bit of a stretch. I believe that developing a crush or some sort of feeling towards someone taken is possible; there’s nothing to do about that except move on or fight it. I think that it would be extremely difficult to develop pure, healthy, actual love for someone taken because this kind of emotion is usually developed throughย constant contact whichย should be unattainable given he/she is taken.”-Says S.H
Falling in Love with your Best friend’s Partner:
Sometimes, itโs more complicated, depending on how close this person is to you, and how close you are to their partner. Even if it seems ethically the same, it still differs.
“I fell in love with my best friend’s boyfriend. I can’t do anything about it and I never will. They broke up but my friend still has feelings for him, so it’s definitely a closed subject.”- says B.Y.
It Depends Toย What Extent They’re Taken
Although, I personally think that it doesn’t matter if they’re engaged, married or just in a relationship, some people tend to believeย that the duration of the relationship is a decisive factor. Because if they’re married, you would be wrecking a home and breaking up a whole family, especially if they have kids.
“It depends on the type of relationship; having a Bf/Gf or being engaged is totally different fromย being married. The probability of breaking up is much higher at earlier stages.”-Says H.T.
If The Person You Like, Likes You Back But Won’t Leave Their partner:
Sometimes this already “taken person” is the one who keeps pursuing you. In that case, you should know he’s probably a player. Because if they really wanted you they should’ve broken up first then taken some time off to think about it, or stop contactingย you and realize his/her mistake. This might sound or feel a little evil, however, it would be much fairer than keeping both of you hanging.
“If they’re convincing you that they’re unhappy and that they like you, they’re kind of leading you on. However, if they won’t leave their partner, you should know that they’re just goofing aroundย and quit instantly.”-M.A.
If The Person You like Dumped Their Partner For You:
Would you be okay with that? Would you still trust them? Would you be able to handle karma in the future? These are questions that you need toย ask yourself before getting involved with someone taken. Wouldn’t you agreeย that this person might dump you too for someone else?
“I knew this guy from a post grad class; he was already with someone for less than a year. We kept meeting regularly inย class until he eventually left her for me. We got together but it didn’t work for manyย different reasons. I think whenย someone dumps their partnerย for another person, it means they didn’t love themย enough”-Says aย friend.
Some People Think It’s Just Wrong
Most of the people who think it’s wrong, won’t deny that sometimes people cannot choose who they fall for. However, they are still responsible for their actions.
“You can’t control who you’re attracted to or even fall in love with but trying to seduce someone who’s already in a committed relationship makes you selfish. I think there’s a special place in hell for people who do that; we hear about it all the time so there are a lot of them out there. There’s also karma; if he leaves his partnerย for you, he will probably leave you for someone else as well.”-Says S.H.
A Solution โฆ
We can all say that it’s not proper, however, it’s still quite common. What if you think that this person is your perfect match? Should you be the reason behind someone’s heart break? What should you do?
“When I fell for my husband, we were both taken!! I didn’t do anything about it and even tried to deny it; I didn’t act upon it in any way. Sometimes, you really can’t help your feelings. All I did was prayโฆ A LOT. Sometime later, we both broke up for totally different reasons at different times and look at us now, we’re happily married.”-says M.M.
“Wait and never tell them.. There’s always a chance for them breaking up.”-Says H.A.
In this world, not everything is either black or white; there are a lot of shades in between. Only you could decide for yourself what you should do. However, you should always tryย not to get anyone hurt including your own self.
