By: Aida Salem

Seriously! You think you’re Wonder Woman, and that’s why you’re reading this article! Come off it! And there’s no Superman either! Well after this shocker, I don’t have to be a totally bad person. I will offer you my humble- incomplete (nothing can state everything) guide to some men or boys you may have dated, married or even hated. If you have never met them, then identify those types and avoid them.

This guide is only based on my observations; you may find it completely useless, have a better guide or find yourself afraid of learning something you don’t want to know (I know it sis!). So, here we go:

The Ghost

He’s beauty and he’s grace! He’s the guy of your dreams, your Superman and the guy who can be everything at the same time. He’s a TRAP. He acts like an angel till he makes sure you’re in the trap, then he becomes Casper instead of Superman. He will suddenly be too busy for you. He may eventually make you feel you’re wrong that you’re not there for him while he’s saving the world; you will always be blaming yourself. He has the wonderful ability of turning the tables and making you feel you’re the guilty one, and how come you’re that horrible person who doesn’t deserve his love. Once you forget all about him, he will reappear again. Sweetie, bury him alive!

Si El Sayed

This one is not that hard to spot; he’s honest and won’t play games. I guess most of his problems will be solved by getting a maid, not having a wife. No work, no outings with your friends even if they’re all girls, only staying at home doing housework and that’s it. Good luck with that!

The CEO

This one is the weird guy in your life. He will approach you for your looks or wit but once he realizes your professional success, he will decide that you’re not the one for him. How come you want to be better than him you silly gal? He’s the boss and you’re the follower, otherwise you’re out of his league. “Friend-zone” him once you sense this.

The Know it All (or nothing*)

This one probably has a respectful job that he has invested a lot of time and effort in over the years. That’s okay, but he will try to make you feel that whatever you’re doing is nothing in comparison. You can tell him I climbed the pyramid today, he will say that he did it twenty times before you were born and he will try to act like Mr. Know it All in front of everyone. Push him off the top of that “pyramid” and don’t look down.

The Gamer

Okay, you know he’s a womanizer but you will think you’re different (maybe you are). He doesn’t remember how many times he was in a relationship and he will never say anything particular or straightforward. He’s mysterious and you will fall for that as unfortunately I know we girls love this kind of challenge. He takes the game to a whole new level as all he wants is to try how many girls or how much beauty his charm can get. He’s challenged just to make you care for him but once you do, he wants an upgrade to a next level of a more beautiful or smarter more challenging girl. You have to be more than one step ahead of him and make him always feel he’s not more than a regular “friend” if you want to keep playing the game. If not, then I assume you’re already beautiful to attract this type; let him sit on the substitutes’ bench in his stupid game.

The Child

I think you will find guys your age or just a little bit older (of course not all of them) somehow childish, reckless and irresponsible and always not wanting a stable life. You may talk to him about your problems and your huge plans or purpose in life and find him replying that he was thinking about how wonderful Disneyland is. Well, we all love Disney actually but it is really annoying to be disappointed in someone’s reaction about more serious matters. Despite that it’s not a rule and you may marry someone younger and still be happy, but that type really does exist. They’re not so harmful, but they’re not for you if you think for a second that he’s a crybaby.

The Cute! Awww!

He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. He’s the one willing to be there for you no matter what, will do everything you want and will make plans with you for the future, but you still think he’s not the one and walk away because we girls are weird. We always want the challenge!! I shouldn’t be telling you to avoid him but since you will anyway and that’s what we do, I’m just saving you some time. We’re weird and we don’t understand ourselves or what we want and no one will understand us anyway. So, good luck dumping this one and going for other guys who will make you cry yourself to sleep. I can’t imagine how our brain works sometimes!

The Khaliji

He’s a hit nowadays. You will be completely fine with your house, bank account, car, everything but probably no partner. You can have all the money or anything you want but not the partnership which is what it’s all about (not stating exceptions of course). Some people are comfortable with that, but others aren’t. If you’re someone who wants to enjoy their own company then you’ll be fine, otherwise you will be unhappy unless you’re planning to murder the guy and run away with the cash and car!

Men can be made up of more than one of the above mentioned types; they can also shift from one type to another depending on their feelings for their partners. There are plenty of good guys out there, but sometimes we don’t recognize them or we’re looking and not actually seeing. If you can love someone with all their flaws, then this is enough for it to work. If you’re sure you’re offering a lot and not getting back enough in return, then don’t settle for less and never have the fear of walking away. Take a decision and do it. Sometimes you have to close a door to be able to open another. No matter how many doors are closed or opened, never give up. There’s someone out there that must be looking for someone like you. Okay I said there’s no Superman or Wonder Woman, but someone will be YOUR Superman and you’re HIS Wonder Woman.