‘You miss the idea of being with someone and not him’ is one of the most common statements many of us received at one point in time after a breakup. I do agree that it might sound a little bit weird, but it is almost 100% valid.
Why Do You Feel That Way?
Sometimes, we just feel too lonely. We haven’t been liking/dating any new person for quite sometime now and practically everyone around us is in a relationship, which doesn’t help at all. So you start feeling nostalgic to all the good baggage that came with your previous relationship/love story, even if the whole thing was a nightmare. You start remembering all the fun times you had, all the times that you felt ‘occupied’ rather than happy.
Suddenly, you forget to remember how that person used to hurt your feelings, treated you in a bad way, ignored you for days or even acted as a complete douche sometimes. You only remember the good parts; the time when you both went to your favorite restaurant, or maybe one of the few times that he/she was actually there for you or even the one time that he/she managed to make you smile. But that should never be enough!
All the crying and the overthinking are not within your memory reach, because you just feel too lonely which makes your vision blurred. Your emotional need to be with someone regardless of who that person is, is just dominating your thinking.
You start giving that person excuses for why they acted in such way, why they hurt you or why they mistreated you. You suddenly become so creative and believe that maybe just maybe he did forget his phone in his car for two days and that’s why ‘he wasn’t ignoring you, and it was just an accident’ as he claimed. When you reach this stage, know that you currently need a slap on your face, otherwise you are sooo doomed.
What is The Reality Behind it?
You don’t miss the person himself, you just miss being with someone. Someone who gives you the attention which is what you need the most to not feel lonely. You need someone to fill in the empty space in your life and heart, which is okay. But don’t ever settle or go back to someone who treated you badly just because you feel lonely.
What Should You Do?
It is okay to want to be part of a relationship. It is also okay to feel lonely at times and even feel a whole lot of pain because of it. Just stop yourself from correlating the feelings of loneliness with love or nostalgia. Remind yourself of how that person hurt you, how that person doesn’t deserve to be with an amazing person like yourself or even how you at least deserve much better than that.
Know the difference between both states, and remember that the love of your life is right around the corner. Trust God’s timing, because it is never anything but perfect. NEVER let yourself settle, because it is true, sometimes we are just after how it feels to be in a relationship and experiencing all the great feelings and gestures. Know your worth and you will never make that mistake ever again.