You know how they always tell you that the 3agayeb el donia el sab3a are constantly updated? If I had the chance to add to them, I would go for the “Egybtion” office. Being an Egyptian employee, as I like to call it with a “b”, is a struggle not everyone knows about, bas heya haga testahel gayza. This article is for the people whom every single day at work could be filmed as a documentary for an adventure/thriller/drama and in some cases maybe Horror. In case you are wondering whether you have the “Egybtion” employee syndrome…here are the symptoms:

1. El desk is a little bit of Everything known to exist on a table:2

Basically that means that your desk has sowar el famolia as well as friends of el famolia. Your Desk has all types of pens and staplers, mug ba2alo shahr. To sum up, you could live with your Desk.

2. El office boys/Bus Drivers are too Much consumed into your Life.

If the office boys or bus drivers seem to comment on your wardrobe, or know personal information about your life, take decisions on your behalf, as in “El 7aga ekalemet 2oltelha enek rawahte”

3. Lunch Breaks are used for important visits and payments.

While everyone is having lunch, a smoke or making a phone call, you are probably picking up the kids from school ,w betbarke le mona ala gawazha w f nafs el waat having lunch.

4. People in the office remind you of High School Gangs.4

Inside the office, you have shelet el ray2een and the ones who take overload work .I guess you have an office nickname, and of course whatever you say will be told to Samia , Nour and Ahmed..etc.

5. Food in the Office is more like ma2edet rahman in Ramadan.

It’s quite normal for people to bring lunch boxes and sandwiches to the office, but of course ordering food 24/7 is a must, daily treat, because what is life without food..huh?

6. You do the extra work so you can actually get your normal salary.

Your boss is more like a Mafia’s ninja to you, and will give you the simplest rights you deserve as an employee or even the salary itself only if you become a workaholic slave.

7. If you have Thursday off work, you will Probably need Wednesday and Sunday as well.

As an employee, a day off is like the summer vacation for 3rd graders, so why not start the weekend earlier and maybe take a day as well to prepare for another week of hell.

8. You are too much consumed with el takeefat, el 7amam, el internet.5

If you find yourself spending most of your office hours, trying to fix a modem, or reaching technician el takeef. Maybe adding manadeel to your to do list, then you are 100% Egybtion.

9. Your title is “International consultant officer for..etc”, & you don’t even know what it means.

Because in Egypt, the longer the title, the more sophisticated it looks like right?…Well, maybe you should ask your boss why the salary is not as big as the title then!

10. You have to set your alarm 2 if not 3 hours before work time.6

You have to consider el eshara el gambak wel lagna el 3al nasya and do not forget that nada mel hesabat will ask you for a pick up at the last minute. I know!

 

To sum up, I know you are probably wishing you could sit back at the beach or work alone in an office, but doesn’t all the drama and fuss make us who we are. I believe the Egybtion office is a bit of everything under one roof, but that Egybtion identity makes me anxious to go to work everyday and wonder whether lunch at the office will be ma7shy or koshary for the day!!