A relationship is like an investment. It takes time, effort and hard work. We put our hearts and souls into it wishing and praying it will pay off.
Of course, sometimes it does. However, most times, it doesn’t. But because we treat it as our life investment, we find it extremely hard to let it go when it’s time.
Sometimes, the signs are too clear that you just can’t deny it. But other times, it is easy to look past the warning signs and live in denial.
But what are some non-obvious signs that we should look out for in our relationships? Could it be happening to you and you don’t even know it? How can you detect it early on in the relationship?
Last week, someone on Reddit asked this question and we have to say the answers were not short of heartbreaking.
The pleasure is gone
“Just hanging out becomes more like a chore than just pleasure.”
No more talking
“When your significant other seems totally disinterested in talking to you. You try to start a conversation and they just give you one word/one sentence answers.”
They bring you sadness not happiness
“Or when you hear their car pull into the driveway and you get this sinking feeling like ‘fun’s over’.”
There’s no energy left to fight
“Even fights are one-sided. The other person just stops trying to resolve the issues.”
You don’t seek each other’s company anymore
“When you don’t see each other for a few days, and you’re not excited to get back together.”
There’s nothing left to say
“When you’re spending time with them and you’d rather be anywhere else. When conversations with them become dry and boring, that’s a big one too.”
It feels like an endless loop
“When it starts to feel like a bottomless pit. No matter how much effort you put into it, things don’t improve and you get less and less back every day.”
Partnership is gone
“When you realize that you can’t problem-solve for s**t when the two of you are together, even simple tasks that require nothing more than open communication. Relationships require work, but they also need to be functional. If basic incompatibility keeps the two of you from working together as a partnership, it’s doomed.”
The past is better than the present
“When you start feeling nostalgic for the relationship you’re currently in.”
You prefer silence
“You feel strongly about something but you don’t want to talk about it because you know it’ll just become an argument that won’t be resolved satisfactorily.”
The future terrifies you
“The brief terrifying, numbing thought of ‘is this going to be the rest of my life’.”
Feeling alone with them around
“Knowing that your significant other is physically in the room with you, but feeling that mentally, they are very far away from you…”
You don’t know who they are
“A friend asked me, “what’s he like?” about a month into the relationship. I couldn’t answer. It ended in flames, lesson learned.”
The fact that you are anxious to read this article
“When you get an urge to ask people about symptoms of a failing relationship.”
You just don’t care anymore
“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. When this makes sense to you, it’s over.”
If you do suffer from any of the signs above, you have to be brave and take a stand. It will hurt but with time, you will eventually heal.