We, Egyptians, do have our trademark specialties when it comes to linguistics and communication- what can I say? We’re a unique bunch. There are certain things that definitely make us who we are.. and other things which you’ll definitely never hear us utter. Here are some of them:

“Sorry, I really don’t know the way, maybe you should ask someone else”

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Us? Say we’re not knowledgeable about our own country’s streets? Are you nuts? Of course, we know the way and will very readily give you directions even when we have no idea where the street you’re asking about is located. That’s just how we roll.

When we really want to pitch in and help, but our guilty conscience taps in and tells us not to totally give you wrong misguided directions, we’ll simply ask you: “howa 2allak fein ya rayes?” basically urging you to pull your hair out from the irrationality of the question.

“6th of October bridge was totally smooth and not jammed today- driving was a bliss”

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Driving in this country, especially in the capital, is never ever EVER a bliss because certain streets and routes in Cairo are basically the reincarnation of hell on earth- and we all know it. Just ask an Egyptian how their day was and 9 out of 10 times, they’ll complain about commuting and traffic. Can you blame us, though?

“No, I’ll pass. I don’t like Molokhia.”

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I don’t know what it is about Molokhia that makes us intrinsically in love with it, but I, for one, never met an Egyptian who does not eat it and I’ve lived my 20 years on this earth here. It’s like we’re born with some kind of magical Molokhia-loving gene.

“What is this “Madraset El Moshaghbeen” you keep raving about? I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

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If you’re Egyptian, you’ve most definitely grown up watching this signature comedic play and can most definitely throw a few punch lines here and there from it. I’m not entirely sure about the newer generations, but, nevertheless, we should start embedding this play’s awesomeness in them!

“The Egyptian passport makes traveling so much more easier- that little dark green thing opens all doors for us!”

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Now, before you get all patriotic on me, national pride and hectic traveling procedures are totally different things. I mean, sure, being Egyptian is awesome, but it doesn’t exactly make you close to immune to visa declination. Therefore, we’ve all basically complained at least once about our passport- just admit it.

On an ending note, this article was written with sarcastic, comedic intentions and nothing more. We’re all as Egyptian as each other and this was just a tribute to how awesome it actually is to belong to this population of total nut-heads!