Now that the Holy month is upon us once again, we all need to restrain our urges to curse, even when stuck in the middle of Cairo’s never-ending traffic jams. The problem, I think, with driving in Egypt is that- who am I kidding? It’s not just one problem, but rather a tightly woven lump of ever-growing problems.
As a constructive way of letting out my pent up anger, I thought I’d vent about the tragic driving skills of so many people I see on the road every single day. Here are the most common types of drivers you’ll probably see roaming around Egyptian streets:
The One Who Does Not Quite Understand the Concept of Turning Signals Aka *Esharat*:
I’m sorry, but if you usually don’t use signals before you attempt any kind of manoeuvre or make any turns, I have zero respect for your driving or for you, as a human being. Moreover, if I give you a signal and you continue to disregard it, just know that I’ve already punched you in the face in my head.
The One Who Believes They’re Paul Walker Reincarnated:
Let’s please try and be rational human beings. The streets of Cairo in no way resemble those featured in Fast and Furious. Please halt the dangerous manoevres and over-speeding; ehna 3ala koby 6 October msh highway walahy! Don’t put our life and the lives of others in danger.
The One Who Should’ve Been Casted in “Driving Miss Daisy”:
Just a general heads up, driving super slowly can equally pose a risk on the road. It is well-known fact that the left lane was made for those who want to drive a little faster than most, so don’t deliberately drive there at a speed of 40 km/h.
The One Who Just Wants to Pick a Fight:
Basically, this person is probably having a rough time with their personal lives and will probably make your life a living hell if your car is anywhere next to theirs. They’ll make a sharp turn (yeksaro 3aleik) and then violently honk at you as if it’s your fault because how can your car possibly block their royal way?
The One Who’s Too Busy Texting Away or Talking on the Phone to Notice the Road:
Those people are literally the reason why I have anger issues. They’d block the whole road simply because they were too busy picking an emoji to notice that the car in front of them has moved and that the traffic jam has cleared up. El nas di el sheteema lazem teb2a 7alal feehom!
To sum up, please brush up on your driving skills and acknowledge the fact that other people are driving around you; the roads are not exclusively yours.
