You stalk people sometimes. Admit it. We’ve all done it. We all do it. It’s a (sad) fact of life. Some of us have mastered the art of stalking, becoming experts who stalk anybody they possibly can. For those who haven’t reached that creepy level yet, I think we can all agree to a list of basics who we’ve all stalked at least once before:
1) The person you have a crush on
The number one person on your stalking list. You check their Facebook profile every five minutes, go through their photos on Instagram and follow their tweets religiously. You try to find out about their hobbies, interests, friends and anything you possibly can so you could randomly start conversations that would hopefully grab their attention; or is that just me?
2) The b**** who stole your crush
We all have that one person who stole our crush or at least attempted to.
“Meen ba2a Shayma2 el howa sabni 3ashanha di?” And there begins the crackdown on the girl’s social media accounts and photos. “3amla privacy 3ala Instagram? Mesh moshkela. Hakhosh men account Mervat.” Nothing can keep you from finding out about the *allahoma eni sayem* who took your person away.
3) The hot guy/girl everybody keeps talking about
There’s a list of 4 or 5 famous hot guys and girls in our social circles that everybody talks about. Some of us have even saved their photos on our phones and like to share them with friends (you know who you are). There’s something very weird (and fun) about stalking someone who has absolutely no idea you even exist. The stalking process for these people usually happens during sleepovers or cozy hangouts: “Shoft el soura el X 7atetha?”, the phones come out and the drooling begins.
4) Your ex
We’ve all done it. Whether you’re still into them or not, an ex is someone you’ve stalked at least once or twice. You want to know what they’re up to and who they’ve become after you.
5) Your crush’s ex
You stalk them to compare yourself to them. Probably not the nicest thing to do, but we do it regardless. Be confident, love. They’re an ex for a reason.
(Please don’t hate me for the image below; it made me laugh. I swear I’m nice.)
6) Your ex’s new crush
You always want to know whom they chose after you. Meen ba2a Madi7a el f kol sowaro di? “Sha3raha wehesh aslan.” “Bossi bo2aha 3amel ezay.” “Enti a7la menha awi,” your friends attempt to comfort you. You spend hours stalking them, telling yourself you’re better off anyway.