By Mostafa Kamal Fawzy

 

Neighbors are supposed to be people you cherish. They are the ones you run into on a daily basis and the ones who are nearby for every major milestone in your life. But in Egypt, where you have more neighbors than anyone asked for all stacked up on top of each other, you are bound to have a few who drive you up the walls crazy. Here are some of the things neighbors can do that will make you consider moving to the wilderness.

 

  1. They always seem to be having a noisy, crowded party 24 HOURS/7 DAYS A WEEK.

Unless your neighbor is Tiesto or Armin Van Buren, noise is unacceptable .3arfeen el howa they watch TV at 4 am in the morning, and Madame Meme’s voice is so loud that you can hear her phone call with Madame Shosho el fel rab3.

neigh one

2 . Beygadedo el sha2a kol talat.

All the way from sout el shenyour up to the endless things being dragged around that make it seem like they are bringing the roof down on top of all of you. They change the color of their living room every season, and you are the one helping carry el dolab beta3 Samya  upstairs because you are a helpful nice neighbor, aren’t you?

 

  1. They are way too involved in your personal life.

They will be giving you looks if you arrive late on a wedding night, and giving you comments on the stairway on your hair-do. They will constantly ask you ”Hanfra7 emta?  -”akhbar el shehada eh” and you will find your personal life discussed with everyone in the building 7ata el bawab.

 no

  1. They are never there and you have to deal with beta3 kahraba , el maya, wa el ghaz.

They probably spend all summer at Sahel and visit their relatives all the way across Egypt, so you are left with their endless bills and rough fights with the kahraba/maya bill collectors. Maybe you should try to get the collectors to cut off the electricity/ghaz on their flats…

 

  1. They will be taking your parking spot because you’re neighbors, el geran le ba3deha.

You knows those sunny days where you cherish that parking spot el fel dela, and then boom! Someone took it and it is your neighbor who thinks it is okay to share your private shady spot just because you exchange smiles in the morning.

park fail

  1. They will be asking for your WIFI password as if you are living in a cafeteria.

They will never share food with you, but will be asking for your WiFi password and tell you “ehna bas hanb3at email.” Then they will download 140 movies and leave you not even able to run one Google search per hour.

 

  1. They will cook the smelliest food all year long …Hagat zay mahshy cromb w feseekh.

So your mother-in-law or even boss visit for dinner, and they can’t even enjoy your house you just cleaned because it is filled up with the scent of rehet renga aw mahshy because Tant Soso is fixing dinner for her son who has been in Germany for a year w 2abel enta.

 

Unless you live in a private home in an extremely quiet area, you are most probably one of the victims we just mentioned. As annoying as it is, you should probably still try to be nice to them because you never know when they could help you. Maybe one day you’ll need that cup of sugar!