We all follow at least one of these girls on Instagram and every time they come up on our news feed, it drives us crazy. We say we’ll unfollow them but never get around to it, well, I say it’s about time!
1- The Party Animal
This type comes in both genders. Any party this girl attends (which is all of them), she takes two types of pictures courtesy of CairoZoom of course. The first one is the one I like to call the “female pimp”, where she’s surrounded by a hoard of guys (whom she probably met the same night). The second type of picture is the one with her fellow female party animals where they’re always posing sideways to show off their non-existent booties with a glass and cigarette in hand of course. They will always and I mean ALWAYS have a glass and a cigarette in hand; it’s always the same hand somehow (I think they practice it at home).
2- The Boyfriend Obsessed
All her pictures are either with her boyfriend, or of her boyfriend, or where she went with her boyfriend, or what her boyfriend got her and so on. Her bio will say something like “Taken” or her boyfriend’s name followed by heart emojis. It will also always include a date which is probably the day she and her boyfriend met or became official. Perhaps even, the first time he bought her kooz dora 3ala kornish, but the date is essential.
3- The Wannabe Fashionista
Now, we don’t mean to offend those who are actually proper fashion icons. We’re talking about those girls who have zero sense of style and think they’re the hottest things that walked this earth, even though they have like 100 followers. They’re always tagging those random street style instagrams that no one has heard of like egyptstreetstyle2016 and fashionEgyp101 (those are made up; don’t go looking them up) to have their pictures featured as if they’re the fashion gurus we’ve all been waiting for. Most of their pictures are mirror selfies with the caption “tag for details” as if anyone would actually want to check where her clothes are from.
4- The Wannabe Model
She probably modeled once for a friend of hers at school for photography class and ever since she decided that modelling is her destiny. In her bio, you’ll find an email account called (hername)[email protected] that she created for herself in hopes that brands will contact her to model for them. She probably never received a single e-mail on it other than from creepy stalkers. Some of her photos are professionally taken by some amateur photographer who probably tricked her into paying him an obscene amount of money to do a ratchet photo-shoot. The rest of her photos were probably taken by her younger sister that she victimised and they are of her just doing obscene poses in her house (probably in the bathroom). And the worst part heya wala shakl wala gesm wala tool wala ay haga khalis.
5- The Squatting Queen
She probably went to the gym once in her life and took about 1000 pictures to last her Instagram a lifetime and if she does go to the gym regularly, all she does is squats. She has long practiced and mastered poses that make her butt appear bigger than it actually is and in some cases uses editing apps to make her butt bigger and captions the pictures “finally my hard work is paying off #bigbooty” *facepalm*. She owns about 100 pairs of yoga pants and sports leggings that she wears and poses in 24/7 even though she barely works out.
6- The Self(ie) Obsessed
She posts a selfie/mirror selfie almost every single day, doing anything and everything. You start thinking she has no friends to take pictures of her. Come to think of it I wouldn’t wanna be friends with someone like that either. “OMG the building is on fire, we have to leave” “OMG WAIT let me take a selfie first” -___- bye b***h, I’m leaving you behind to burn down with the building, khali el selfie tenfa3ek.” Again she tags those random instagram accounts like “egyptianbeauties” or “egyptcuties” to have her selfies featured to gain more followers and maybe one day become famous (ya haram begad).
7- Daddy’s Girl
Of course, she will have daddy’s girl plastered on her bio followed by the diamond emoji. She’s the typical spoiled brat who gets everything she wants and her parents have never said no to her. She’s always posting pictures with her dad with the caption “my king” “my (earth emoji)”, “dunno what I’d do without him” when she probably never even calls him other than to ask for money. All her pictures are of her new designer purchase or new car or new pet imported from Europe. Wow you spend your parents’ money on useless sh** and you never worked a day in your life *claps*