“We were born in a time when if something was broken we fixed it, not threw it away.” One of the most beautiful statements I’ve ever read, and wished if I had said it myself. Unfortunately we now think of how much we can take, instead of how much we still have to give.

A relationship can be complicated, but if we are in it to win, we can save our relationships from falling apart because of silly reasons.

1. Communicate

As it’s always been said communication is key. However, in order to do this, you will need to also pick your timing. Don’t wait until your partner comes from work drained to discuss how things haven’t been the same with both of you. This will certainly start a fight. Wait till they cool off and relax from their exhausting day, only then you can start the conversation. When you talk about the issue, don’t only provide them with the problem, but rather the problem and the solution. Also don’t accuse them and don’t address them with “you did” or “you used to” or “you were”, but rather “WE”. You are in a relationship, it will always be both of you, not only one.

2. Don’t sleep on it

If you had a huge fight, don’t sleep on it. If a fire started, you have to put it off. Don’t wait until it puts itself off after it had already eaten everything. On the other hand, don’t be stubborn. If your partner is too angry, cool things down. Don’t shout at each other’s faces. If he’s screaming, you put your voice down, accordingly his voice will get lower. But if he screamed and you screamed back, it will never end. You don’t have to fix the problem right then and there when it’s heated, but rather wait till you calm down and before either of you sleep, dumb the fight away. “Hey, don’t sleep when you’re angry” or “nothing is worth fighting like this about.”

3. Forget and let go

Not your anniversary, nor your partner’s birthday, but rather any mistake and fight. Which means, if you talked about it once, there is no need to bring it up again the next time. Just let the fight go instead of the relationship.

4. Think of how things started

Not in a oh we used to be so good kinda way, but rather by looking for where did you go wrong so you can fix it. What you used to do to make your partner happy. And always remember that it started with only the two of you, so it’s better to keep it this way, without the interference of any external influences.

5. Do something cute together

Go to the place where you first met or book a trip or a day use anywhere. Renew your energy. TOGETHER. Dedicate this time to one another, not to oneself. When you do this, put in mind that it’s about his/her happiness. Agree on this together, that your main purpose this trip or out is to make the other one happy. By the end of it, you will feel like you are back to your honeymoon phase once again.

6. Respect one another

Artwork by Randy Glasbergen

Respect each other’s space, time and wishes. Don’t belittle what your partner does, maybe they do a lot that they don’t like to burden you with. If your woman doesn’t work, you don’t know how exhausting taking care of the home might be. Also don’t give each other sharp looks in front of people if one does something the other doesn’t like. You might think people won’t notice, but unfortunately they do. Also respect what makes them happy even if it doesn’t mean much to you.

7. It might be you

When you think of how the relationship went wrong, think of what you did, instead of what your partner did or stopped doing. Think of what can you do to save your relationship instead of putting it all on your partner. There is a reason you are “partners” which means you split almost everything together especially things that have to do with the survival of your relationship. Take the blame and give credit!

There are four main golden rules for any relationship to start and succeed: Understanding, trust, love and respect. You should always have all four of them to have any relationship succeed. If one of them faded, you should know that it’s time to restore it.