Starting with your mother probably sleeping over in the kitchen preparing for the 3ezuma and the house looking as tidy as ever before, your mother will ask you to make sure you have sha3rak ala gamb. You will be getting a lot of kisses on the cheek and weird comments from guests you’ve never seen before. Your mother will take credit for food she had probably ordered from a caterer, and your room will probably become a place for khalto Elham to breastfeed her child and Uncle Hatem to pray. Here is a short list of what really happens inside the world of Egyptian 3ezumas.

1. There’s enough food on the table to feed an entire nation

Your mother is probably competing with your aunts, and she will want to show how her macarona Bechamel is the best, not to mention all the other dishes as well. The dishes will look untouched after everyone is done and your mum will feel better to know that these leftovers will save her from cooking for a few days.

2.Your relatives are always creating new drinks 

Your uncle asks you for a regular cup of Hibiscus then he suddenly asks you to add some Sprite to it. Your older relatives are asking if there’s kharoub juice and you probably don’t know what that is in the first place. Keep going with your Cherry Coke, no shame!

3. Your grandmother will be making sure your plate is always full

Even if you’re about to throw up, an empty space in your tummy is still considered a bad sign, so instead you’ll be stuffing yourself. You’ll have to keep nodding then once your grandmother turns away, empty your plate in the nearest bin!

4. Everyone in the family has a seat

Your mother will make you feel as if it’s a royal dining event, so your father has to be seated at the head of the table and wait a second, your cousin Ahmed is a newly wed so he has to be seated next to his wife. You will probably have to take your plate to your room my friend!

5. There’s a huge debate over which series to watch after Iftar

Your aunts are watching Adel Emam, but your parents are watching Nelly karim….and you probably just want the TV off so you can have a post Iftar nap. The quarrel starts here and probably ends by watching Nile TV.

6. The desserts are part of a big competition

Your family members compete to buy the most tempting and maybe expensive dessert that will be the talk of the 3ezuma. The one who buys the cheapest or worst dessert is stigmatized and probably doesn’t get invited to next year’s 3ezuma.

7. Tarawee7 men’s call

Your older male relatives will go all religious suddenly and call for everyone in the family to join them for Taraweeh prayers, and then probably leave before it even starts. They will keep nagging you to join, and maybe expect you to tag along in a galabeya!

The list may never end. At the end of the day, it’s very important to remember that family represents who you are, regardless of the endless s**t they bring to the table. Next time, try to loosen up and may be give that Hibiscus-Sprite drink a try!