So, you’re born Egyptian, you’ve come of age, you’ve graduated school, got some kind of college education, you’re one of the lucky ones who has a job that pays the bills, now what?! Oh, remember the Egyptian part, so maybe you’re traditional and decide to settle down … halal is good, right?! Or so they say!
If you’re tired of being lonely and living under your parents’ roof, here are a number of obstacles that you might have to brace yourself for… or you could just change your mind and decide to live single forever… or sin, I hear it’s easier these days.
1. Finding Someone
You think that’s easy? You must look for a partner, someone pleasing to your eyes, someone you feel somewhat sexually attracted to. In a society that promotes the idea that well-kept men are gay and well-groomed women are sluts, so everyone tries to under-dress on a daily basis, good luck!
However, you might be right. Finding someone attractive is the easier part. It’s the fact that you two must have similar intellectual levels, similar tastes, similar goals, similar views, similar social circles, similar backgrounds, similar upbringing, similar families, etc… and now you know why the pharaohs married their siblings!
Oh, for the record, that pesky aunt of yours was right. It doesn’t get any easier as you get older!
2. The Grey Zone
Jackpot! You find that person who’s attractive, available, checks all the boxes on your list, AND from the same faith! WAHOOO!!! You’re in the grey zone now!
Oh, you thought that just meeting that person would mean you got there?! Ha! You still have to get to know them, and get them to know that you’re interested in them. You must go through that grey zone where you’re not sure if they like you or not, just waiting for some God sent luck, because you’re too afraid to make the first move. Torturous phase!
3. The Relationship Phase
Congratulations! You finally told them about your feelings, or maybe they did, or maybe you have some amazing friends or family members who helped you by setting you up with a blind date that checked the boxes so you’re here already!
Now this is the phase where you get to understand your differences, have moral support for one another, show interest in each other’s success and life goals…. Just kidding it’s more of the phase where you act like you’re doing all these things, but you’re actually enjoying the romance and young love. In other words, you’re getting to know each other up close, letting guards down, and emotions run high. There’s fun, and there’s jealousy. There are so many misunderstandings, shocks and secrets revealed. You see love is like spring with the flowers and the warmth, but the dust and the allergies still come with the package. You’re happy you don’t need a coat, but your sinuses are killing you!
4. Making It Official
The obstacle where most relationships come to die. So, you want to get serious at last? If you think your first enemy is the parents, you’re wrong. It’s your partner! You see you might be ready to take the next step, but they might not be. This is where the partner -usually the guy- gets cold feet and decides to back out.
5. Meet the Parents
Romance won! Congratulations, you’ve met the parents and want to make it official. Wait hang on, but one mother doesn’t like the other, one father wants a bigger dowry, and the other wants a “better” family to connect to! If you can tread through the flames and come out unscarred, you can win a partner. Don’t worry warriors have fallen in the pits below before. We’ll sing about your sorrows, after all tragedy makes better theatre!
6. Find A Place for You and Your Mate!
The parents loved you! They love you both, and love one another, oh it’s a fairy tale! [or maybe you managed to contain the situation and jump over the dragon pit]. Soooo, now you need a place; you can’t crash in your childhood bedroom! Have you checked housing prices lately?!
7. Make it liveable
You managed to find a place, or maybe your in-laws finally accepted the idea of rent. Now you must furnish it, have you checked the prices of that too?! And hang on why is that lovable mother-in-law now getting worked up about which dining room you’ve got to buy! It’s not like you’ll be using it?!
8. The Big Fight AFTER Setting the Date
You got through all the above, you set a date, invited your family, friends, colleagues, and God knows who else your grandmother added to that list. Stress is running high, and you have a grand fight. It might have been something you were trying to keep from boiling up, but it just did. Might be something unplanned and spontaneous; it might be the parents. It might be either of you, whichever it was, it happened! Now you both want out, but you’ve invested too much into this wedding so it’s a huge monetary set back, or worse you actually did get married but on paper [katb ketab] and were just waiting for the marriage ceremony, which means you’ll both end up having to divorce, but you never got married! Horrible situation, for the bride especially.
If you got past all those, CONGRATULATIONS! Now you just have to overcome the hardships of marriage, having children, and try to die in peace! Just kidding, we do wish everyone gets the happy ending they wish for whether with a partner or single =)